Give Me Therapy
by hisgirlfridayx
Summary: Ashlynn brother died a long time ago. She soon meets this guy that sends her flying. When her brother's anniversery is coming around the corner she can't find the words to tell him what happened. He makes her see the light through all these bad times.
1. Opening Number

There is a picture that i would love to show you, but of course we cannot have photos.

Um...just click this link and this would be the poster picture for this story...

.com/photos/36567668N05/3936293088/

"**6 Months" by Hey Monday**

You're the direction I follow to get home  
When I feel like I can't go on you tell me to go  
And it's like I can't feel a thing without you around  
And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees  
Cause you have that effect on me  
You do  
Everything you say  
Every time we kiss I can't think straight  
But I'm okay  
And I can't think of anybody else  
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you  
Months going strong now and no goodbye  
Unconditional  
Unoriginal  
Always by my side  
Meant to be together  
Meant for no one but each other  
You love me  
I love you harder so  
Everything you say  
Every time we kiss I can't think straight  
But I'm okay  
And I can't think of anybody else  
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you  
So please give me your hand  
So please give me a lesson on how to steal  
Steal the heart  
As fast as you stole mine  
As you stole mine yeah  
Oh and everything you say  
Every time we kiss I can't think straight  
But I'm okay  
And I can't think of anybody else  
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you  
So please give me your hand, So please just take my hand

**The Soundtrack**

Chapter 1. _Come one, Come All_ by All Time Low

featuring: No You Girls by Franz Ferdinand, Rock the Beat by LMFAO, Choke Chain by 3OH!3

Chapter 2. _Here Goes Nothin' _by Nevershoutnever!

featuring: Electric Feel by MGMT

Chapter 3. _Seventeen Forever_ by Metro Station

featuring: Into Your Arms by the Maine, The Getaway by Punchline, She (For Liz) by Parachute, His Girl Friday by The Academy Is, So Contagious by Acceptance, Fire and Rain by James Taylor

Chapter 4. _Gravity _by the Fold

featuring: C'mon (On My Own) by Chester French, Fifteen by Taylor Swift, Down ft. Lil Wayne by Jay Sean

Chapter 5. _Got My List _by 7 Seconds

featuring: Everything's Magic by Angels and Airwaves, White Lines and Red Lights by Between the trees, Starlight by Muse, Vegas Skies by The Cab

Chapter 6. _Hold My Hand _by New Found Glory

featuring: Don't Let Me Fall by Lenka, 1901 by Phoenix, The Way She Feels by Between the Trees, Obvious by Hey Monday, Just Dance by Lady Gaga

Chapter 7. _Angel _by Jack Johnson

featuring: Syndicate by The Fray, Rainbow Veins by Owl City, Sweet and Low by Augustana, Honey by the Hush Sound


	2. 1: Come one, Come all

**Give Me Therapy**

**by hisgirlfridayx.**

Chapter 1

_Come One, Come All by All Time Low_

"Do you ever wonder...no no no," I sang on the top of my lungs. My speakers were amped. The music blasting through my house, vibrating all the objects in my room.

"Oh no, you girls never know..." **Franz Ferdinand** surely gets me high, who needs drugs when you have music?

I kept singing along to my muse but I heard this little mumble coming from somewhere, but it was close...

Since I'm home alone for the weekend, this freaked me out. I froze on the word "beautiful" I grabbed a through pillow off of my bed and started walking towards the hallway.

"ASHLYNN!" I heard someone scream. It came from behind me. I spun around quickly to find out it was just my friend Emily, struggling to get her head above my window pane —Haha, that rhymed. Wait, no it didn't. I'm loosing it.

"Jesus." I groaned, sounded more aggravated then I actually was. "I'm home alone, Emmy, don't sneak up on my like that."

I threw the pillow back on my bed and walked over to my window to talk ot her.

"I've been saying your name for about five minutes." Quite the exaggeration. Her blond hair was pulled loosely into a messy bun. It looked like she just took a nap or something. Doesn't she know she has to walk in public to get to my house? Well there is only one other house on our street. "Meet me out back." She said and her head quickly disappeared.

I turned off my music and started walking through my quiet house. Wow, music sure does make a difference. Somebody get me a pin because I wanna hear it drop.

Emily was blond and blue eyed. She could get any guy she wanted. Well, I mean so could I. But I have high-standards. I don't want to waste high-school on useless boy toys.

Emily turned away herds of boys because she has her sights set on her older brother's best friend. Emily's personality was shy but she could get along with anybody. She's like one of those cliché girls. She shy and loves to read but beautiful under the glasses, even though she wears contacts.

I have dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. Emily and I were both attractive young women. The only problem is that there aren't many blondes here in my small Rhode Island town, so guys tend to like the blondes over the brunettes. It's acceptable, I'm not desperate or anything. I've only had a couple of dud dates, and one boyfriend. I mean I'm only 15.

I saw her waiting on the deck patiently checking her nails. Boy, what, had she run? Last year I begged Emily to try out for track with me because I was nervous and trust me she's not that fast.

"I was thinking about what you said earlier, and two years ago, some pervert was in your yard and was all 'Hello, little girl' and _you _didn't seem to care." When did she do all this thinking, when she ran around my yard? But Emily did have a point. She ran down the deck stairs and towards the pool shed. I watched her struggle with the door lock.

"True, but Peter sent that guy over...he told me that like a week before he left that he should do that to me just to scare me." I told her as I carefully stepped down on the pool steps to feel the water. Warm, but cold. "So I kinda knew it was gonna happen..."

Emmy gave me the sure-you-did look. "You knew? So that's why you had you brothers come over and stay with you and totally fuck this dude off?" She stepped inside of the pool shed and grabbed a bikini off of one of the shelves. She threw one my way and changed behind the door. The bathing suit she had on was lime green with white sweethearts all over it, there was the occasional pink heart.

"Whatever, gets on your bathing suit, crank the iPod, and let's have a _partaaay_!" She said and jumped in the pool. The water fuzzed around her and turned white. A million little bubbles popped when she came up for air. The water flowed around her when she swam gracefully to the end up the pool where i stodd still holding the bikini she threw at me.

"Gets?" I ask her, "I thought you had an A in English."

She laughed and sank back uder the water.

* * *

Emily and I spent about two hours in the pool fooling around. We did insane jumps off the diving board. We made up two dance routines to **LMFAO's Rock the Beat and I'm in Miami Bitch**. We had a blast.

Somehow Emmy's brother's ex-girlfriend came up in the conversation we were having as we dried ourselves off up on the deck. Our wet feet made dark brown footprints on the weathered wood on the deck. We were both standing in a puddle of our own water, it made the wood underneath us nice and soft. Not splitery like it usualy is.

"Remember those annoying cheerleading pom-poms." She mimicked her doing cheerleading moves.

"And a five, six, seven, eight!" I laughed, until something popped into my tiny winy brain.

"OHH!" I said, and rain into the house dripping wet leaving Emily standing there confused.I could have gotten whip flash because of it. As i made my way through the house i had to jump over Annie's body, laying there confused also.

I ran into my older brothers room, opened the closed door, and dug around in boxes until I found my old pom-poms from back when I was five and I had a Hilary Duff obsession.

I raced back to Emily and twirled them around in my hands. "OH MY! Where did you find these?" She said as she reaching towards me as I was closing the slider. She had a Cheshire Cat grin on her face.

"Let's go cheer buddy!" I said in a high-pitched voice, I put one hand in the air, the other on my hip. The pom-poms were old and tacky. There were pink and silver, the kind you could find in a dollar store. With them still in my hands, Emily and I ran down the decks stairs and towards the diving board.

She jumped into shallow end of the pool, as i made my way to the end of the diving board, I wondered if the pom-poms would dry quickly.

I was just about to do a perky jump into the air when Emily screamed "Wait!" at me.

I turned around lowering my arms. Well?

Her brother's ex always did this really stupid move whenever someone complimented her. If you said you liked her shoes she would put one hand on her chest and pop one of her legs up. Emily imitated her now explaining that I should indicate that in my jump.

"That's a wicked cute bikini, Ashlynn!" Emily said to me awaiting my big and final jump.

I made my jump perfectly, but as I hit the water it was kind of a belly flop only on my right leg because i had it propped up like she always did. _Oww,_ I thought as I was underneath the water. I came up for air rubbing my leg. The water was white and fuzzy around me. The bubbles were still forming and popping. I heard clapping and figured it was coming from Emily until I heard her brother Jordan's voice.

"Bravo! Whoohooo!" He cheered. I spun around and saw him and his best friend Brian applauding away at me. They were both leaning against the fence around the pool. As Ashlynn cried "What the hell?" I grabbed the water gun floating on top of the water and aimed it at Jordan. Brian was acting completely innocent starring at Emmy. She, however, was giving the death stare to Jordan, who was looking at me and stepping back away from the water gun. It was like a starring fest.

"Hey, now, Ash, I just came over to see if we could borrow your flat iron." He was throwing his hands up in the air like he surrendered, "Em's is somewhere in her bathroom and I wanted to spare my dear friend Brian here, the sight in there." Okay now he's gonna get it. I squirted him from feet up then I went over to Brian and got him soaked. He really didn't need to since he's so shy around us.

I noticed that Emmy had found one too and was soaking both of them also.

"Oh, so that's how you wanna play it!?" Brian said to Emily smiling a mischievous smile. Jordan raised his eyebrows at me. They took their shirts off at the same time. Their flip-flops were next, then their shorts fell to the ground. They already had their bathing suits on. Huh. Did they really want that flat iron?

Whoa. Did I just have really scrawny brothers or have these boys been working out?

Jordon picked up one of the water guns off the grass that I threw over there when Emily and I were pretending that we were getting shot by the people in the movie Taken. Mine ended up over near the swing set. Both boys came charging through the gate. Jordon challenged me to a water gun fight. I got him in the eye a couple of times. As for Brian, He caught Emily off guard and swooped her right off the ground and jumped in the pool with her on his shoulder.

We all dried off outside on the lounge chairs. There were only 3 so I laid on one of the chair cushions on the ground. Some reason my iPod turn into Emily's, and then it turned into Brian's. I don't know why he brought his, but the band **3OH!3** was blaring through the outdoor speakers. I'm actually glad that the next house over is about a good, fair distance away.

"Oh, hey, Emmy, I got that movie Obsessed. We can watch it tomorrow night." I said twisted my waist around so I could see her better. My bangs were the first to dry of my hair and they were becoming to big of a hassle to stay down in my face. I needed some bobby pins, and fast.

Emily made a 'Yay!' face, and sank back into her chair again. I got up of the ground, clumsily if you ask me. I started walking towards the deck stairs and Brian started on the movie Obsessed. I ran into the house and grabbed my small box that had a bunch of hair stuff in it. I closed the sliding door behind me just fast enough to hear Brian say: "But don't you want some very hot and noble strong guys next to you as you watch this R rated film?"

"Ohh, please. We'll get Mr. McClarren and his buddies to come and watch the movie with us, don't worry." I said sarcastically as I plopped by butt down onto the cushion and dug through the box. I gave Jordan and silly face as he starred at me blankly.

"You do have a thing for hot stuff McClarren." Emily stated, grinning smugly. Mr. McClarren was my Eigth grade homeroom teacher until he got tranferred into the highschool. He was in his early 30's and ind of good-looking. My mom always _loved _him.

"That bastard! He gave me a B- on one of my _best_ papers!" He said annoyed. I finally found some bobby pins in the box. I clipped my bangs up into a small bump.

I patted Jordan's knee and said, "Well, atleast you tried to be the _best you could be_!"

Brian never knew Hotstuff McClarren so he was bored with this conversation."Come on! We'll invite Seth and his girlfriend, and Cody and his." Brian pleaded shooting Emily and I pretty-please faces. I ignored it, but Emily was about to cave.

"I haven't even met this guy named Seth or his girlfriend, so...No."

Emily said, "Well, he's really hot. I mean really!" What an act. Emily, I know you too well.

"He's taken." Brian said coldly to her. Wow, Emmy, you do know your stuff. And that wasn't even great acting.

"Lighten up, or else we'll never be able to come." Jordan said to Brain. Brian toke a sip of his Coke and seemed to chill.

Great! A night full of guys and their girlfriends. Emily will obviously go with Brian, but who will I sit with? Annie, my golden retriever? Or Jordan? God, ew.

**(P.S. anything in BOLD is a song that i was listening to when I wrote this. Please listen. They are there for a reason.)**


	3. 2: Here Goes Nothin'

Chapter 2

_Here Goes Nothing by Nevershoutnever!_

Emily and I started the destruction of the house the next day. I never realized it, but I feel for my mom now. She has to vacuum, polish the wooden furniture, dust all the ugly paintings, clean the television screen so there are no smudges, and did I mention the toilets? It was disgusting. It toke us two hours to make sure everything was in order.

All this was making us thirsty. I went to the fridge to get Emily a Capri Sun, and dropped mine on the floor after I opened up the refrigerator doors. The only things that were in there were some old milk, water bottles, a plum, and cheese. I didn't think that would go over to well with our guests.

I walked through the dinning room to go get Emily. We never-ever used the dinning room except on holidays. It was usually just a bunch of grumpy grown-ups pretending that everything was happy and magical when really have the family was spilt because one of my aunts got drunk one night and got into a fight. Personally, I think my Mom, Dad, and my Uncle David are the only sane ones in the family. Even my two year old cousin is a little wacko.

I found Emmy in the living room adjusting throw blankets and pillows. She looked up at me, not even a little confused about my expression, she didn't say anything.

"We are completely out of food." I stated throwing my hands up in the air, hating the world right now. Because on top of having no food, I'm broke. Yeah, not even a penny in my wallet.

Emily looked like she didn't believe me. Did she not see me face. I mean I have a very convincing face, I think anyways. "Come on," she said walking past me towards the kitchen, "You can't be _completely_—HOLY SHIT!" She has opened the fridgerator doors and is starring blankly at them. Her eyes popping out.

"I told you," I said sounding amused. "And I have no money and either do you so..." We walked back into the living room plopping our butts on the couch like we were so exhausted.

"We could order pizza." Emily suggested. She was neatly stacking 4 issues of Teen Vogue on the coffee table. Doesn't she know that in two hours that coffee table is going to be filled with empty soda cans, junk food, and a bunch of dirty napkins. If the guys even bother to use any.

"Just pizza? Emmy, we need the necessities, Oreos, popcorn, pretzels, marshmallows, and poptarts." I explained to her, how did she forget after all the years of movie night? "_We_ need to go shopping."

"But I thought we were both totally broke?" Way to state the obvious. Suddenly her face lit up. This couldn't be good, she had evil face on. She reached into the back pocket of her jean booty shorts and pulled out a shiny, clean, and unswiped MasterCard.

Emily's Dad was upset that he was never around so he gave her a MasterCard to fulfill his absence. Not a good way to fulfil it if you ask me. Especially if you're a teenage girl. But finally we found a good reason to use it besides trying to buy Jimmy Choo's when we visited New York.

We lucked out not just with the credit card but there was a Shaw's only a few miles from my house. We were on our way down the street when I noticed my neighbor's 23 year old son walking to his car. He was just visiting his parents and was planning on doing a little grocery shopping of his own. With Emily and I being young attractive girls we got him to give us a ride. Pat was cute in the: I'm-just-out-of-college-and-I-have-no-idea-what-I'm-going-to-do-with-the-rest-of-my-life way.

We parted our ways at the door. Emily and I ended up with a carriage full. The cashier guy was all, "God, what are guys feeding the hungry with," he glanced over at the conveyor belt to see what we were laying down, "Oreos and Cheetos?" He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Movie Night." I answered him; Emily was done unloading the carriage and was standing behind it impatiently. So unlike her. Emmy's always the patient goody-two-shoes. Usually it's me tapping my foot waiting.

The total came out to $103.59. Emily's limit per cash-out was $100.

"What if we drop one of the packs of gum, what does that make it?" She asked, looking unsure before handing him her credit card.

"$102.30." He stated smoothly.

"What if we drop another?" She asks, almost ready to put her credit card back in her pocket.

"101.01"

"What if we drop another?"

"Less calories." I say getting annoyed. I'm leaning against the conveyor belt now, tapping my fingers. See? What did I tell you.

"You know what," The cashier said, reaching into his back pocket, "It's on me." He said smirking.

What? The whole thing? "Whole thing?!" Emily asks. Hah, just what I was thinking. I glanced over at her. She was shocked and a little unbelieving since he worked here.

"No silly, just the gum." He toke her MasterCard and swiped it. "I work at freakin'—sign here—Shaw's! I don't have a hundred bucks laying around." He said loudly, a little too loudly, because half the store turned to look at him.

We left the store and Pat was waiting in the car. He helped us put the bags in the trunk of his Ford Maxima and we were off.

We sat around waiting for a half an hour flipping through channels. All the snacks were in bowls on the coffee table. Blankets were laid on the floor if anybody wanted to stretch out while they watched the movie.

"Hey," Emily says out of nowhere, "You know what would put this movie night over the top?" She had her mouth open and she was grinning. Hugely. I starred at her blankly awaiting her to answer her own question. "If we make it a sleepover!" She said thrilled.

God no. "No way am I hanging out with a bunch of guys and there random girlfriends. AND no way am I sleeping next to Jordan again like the last time." Jordan is so gross, and he is her brother for crying out loud. He's like my brother. Not gross as in ugly, he's definitely not ugly, but he's just ... immaturely gross.

"Of course not, you have all those air mattresses; we could line them all up right here. This room is big enough for about three queens." She was sizing it out in her head. No way could I say no to her now.

"Fine," I gave in (there was no way i was winning this. even though it was _my _house,) "But no way is there gonna be any hooking up in my house. Got it?" I eyed her. I knew she would never, but who knows with these sluttly girlfriends.

She jumped a little and clapped her hands.

The doorbell ring as Emily was doing her happy dance. Annie raced to the door, barking fiercely at it.

We rushed behind her awaiting our guests. "It's open!" I screamed, it opened and there was my neighbor Ken. He walked in and Annie was shaking her tail like crazy. Ken was one of those pushover motorcycle dudes. He is so nice to me; him and his wife Betsy always watch out for me when my parents are gone. Like my brother's bff Peter doesn't do that enough.

"Hey Kenny!" I greeted him, "Come on in!" I motioned him to close the door behind him.

He glanced around and noticed all the open bangs of junk food. "What are you girls planning on getting fat tonight?" He started rubbing his big, round stomach, "Don't end up like me!"

Emily and I laughed. "Just coming over to remind Ash about the dog food, huh?" Emily said figuring that was it.

"You know me well, Emily!" He pointed at her and smiled. Then he turned to me, "Don't forget!"

"I won't, Kenny." I glanced out the glass door and noticed Brian and Jordan walking up the stone path. _God, that thing needed to be weeded_, I thought. They walked through the door, and I smirked at Emmy. She knew my plan. "So, Kenny, when do you think you'll let me and Emily, here, take a ride on your bike?"

Jordan and Brian stood there, mortified that they didn't get a ride on the motorcycle first. Jord's jaw hung out.

Ken looked unsure, like he was considering the options. Then he looked back up and grinned, "How bout right now?"

Then the door opened again, and Cody and his girlfriend I'm guessing walked in. This time Ken turned around, "Oops! Looks like I got some company, maybe some other time though Ken!" I said smoothly.

Kenny noticed Jordan and slapped him a high five, "You girls have fun now!" He screamed as he was closing the door behind him.

Brian had already found his way into the living room with Emily, Jordan was about to walk in after them. Cody was busy texting and his girlfriend was checking her outfit. She had on black shorts and a hot pink tank top that read _Mission Beach_ on the chest. She had ankle boots on. She was humming some girly pop song.

I grabbed Jordan's arm and whispered, "Who's the chick?"

Before he could answer Cody put the phone away and was all, "Sorry 'bout that guys, my mom doesn't think I'll be home in time to get to bed."

"Get to bed in time, what are you 7?" I said confused.

He quickly explained, "I'm going to Maine tomorrow for some fuckin' family reunion. Big fun!" He said sarcastically, going _Whoohooo_ with his hands. Nice language there Cody.

His girlfriend nudged him in his left arm, "Oh Shit, everyone, this is Sam. Sam, Emily and Ashlynn." We've made our way into the living room by now. Emily and I waved; I guess the guys already met her.

Cody's phone viabrated in his pocket. "Your mom again?" Sam asked, looking over his shoulder as he settled into the couch.

"No, its Seth, he just ... I don't know ... he says he doesn't want to come because Heather is giving him a hard time." He reads some more looking even more confused. I'm guessing Heather is his girlfriend. Lucky. OK, gotta stop this pouting thing. Its not attractive, even if it is just in my head. "I guess she gave him an ultimatum, all or nothing, and he said nothing."

"I thought they were just friends?" Brian asked, shifting in his seat. What's his problem? The ground ain't comfortable enough for him?

"I guess he was sending her mixed signals, and she got the idea that he wanted to be her boyfriend even though they didn't even go on a date. Weird." He looked down at his phone and proceeded to dial a number, probably Seth's. He walked into the dinning room. He was too far away to hear now.

"She sounds like a psycho." Jordan said grabbing a Cheeto.

Quickly changing the subject, Emily sits near me on the ground and asks, "When is hot stuff getting here?"

Jordan stopped chewing, so did Brian. Wait. he wasn't chewing anything...

Hah. I love messing with guys brains. "I don't know, he should be here by now." I pretend to look at my watch. A watch that wasn't even on my wrist.

Cody came back into the room announcing that Seth decided to come, and should be here any second.

A second later the doorbell rings.

Annie and I run to the door, and open it. Annie's happy to have one more person to pet her.

The guy I'm guessing is Seth, is standing in front of the door. His body is facing me but his head is looking around the yard. (Even though its 7 and not much to see.) It takes him a second to realize a dog is sniffing him and that I'm standing in front of him.

He looks at me with these big green eyes. He looks unsure about something.

"Hot stuff's here!!" I scream back at Emily.

He laughs, but his eyes are like an open book. You can tell he just broke it off with that girl. God, why do all the guys I know have such readable eyes.

"Do I have the right—" He was cut off by Jordan screaming: "If that's that fucking McClarren dude I'm gonna kick his—Oh, Hey, Come on in!"

Weird. Seth smiled at me and he stepped by me, "Guess you do have the right house after all." I say, trying to be all calm and cool. He smelled like he just drank coffee or something.

We follow Jordan through the house and into the living room. He seems to be fascinated with the architecture of the house. He looking up at the ceiling, the painting, glancing up the staircase trying to get a peek of my parents bedroom. He stops once we reach the living room, and looks around for a seat. The guys are like 'HEYY!'

I take my seat on the floor next to Emily and Brian. I raise my eyebrows approvingly to Emily. She smiles. Brian sees this. He raises his eyebrows now. I stick my tongue out at him and laugh. Emily joins me. I glance up at Seth and he's looking at me weird. Suddenly I'm embarrassed. That's a first.

Seth looks around, and then just sits on the ground next to Annie; she rests her head on his knee. She loves the attention. ATTENTION WHORE!

Emily stares at Cody expecting him to start introducing everyone. Cody reading her thoughts says, "I've already introduced enough people today introduce yourselves." I roll my eyes.

10 minutes later I'm putting in the movie and everyone's settling down.

The credits roll in and I'm already bored. A whole night with these losers. No thank you.

Emily is on the couch next to Brian. She has her legs on top of his. Seth is on the other end slouching into the cushions trying to get comfortable. He looks completely bored also. Cody and Sam are on the floor sitting so close to each other its like they are one person. Jordan is on the floor too, his legs stretched out. Since I don't feel like sitting next to him like were together, I decide to lay horizontally, with my head in his thighs. I have absolutely no interest in watching the beginning of this movie like this. I call Annie over, and she is happy someone is petting her.

I close my eyes and see if I can fall asleep. I'd rather sleep through the movie than watch it next to Jordan awake. I heard something collapse beside me, I figured it was Annie laying down. Then her head is resting on my stomach. Jesus her head is heavy.

Next thing I know, someone's pulling my hair. I rub my head where my hair was pulled and open my eyes, It was Jordan.

"How old are you that you have to pull my hair?" I ask him, annoyed.

"You know, while Ashlynn McLaughlin was asleep and whole movie played. And 2 people left." I lifted up my head to see if it was Seth that left.

Cody and whatever her name is left. Emily was talking to Seth in the kitchen somewhere, I heard there voices. Brian was over me laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"You slept through the movie, and Cody's bimbo girlfriend talked all the way through it. 'OHMYGOD! I can't believe Beyonce just did that' It was hysterical..." Brian helped me up and they proceeded to the kitchen.

I grabbed an Oreo, and decided to stumble through the living room slowly.

"Oh God no, I think Ashlynn would kill herself if she was with him." I stopped. Who is Emily talking too? I would kill myself if I was with who? Jordan? Yes actually, I would.

"Ashlynn and Jordan are like brother and sister." Emily kept going on, Jordan walked into the kitchen now, he'll probably chime in now too. Great. WHO IS EMILY TALKING TOO?

Wait, why would it bother me so much? It's probably just Seth. He doesn't care, he just broke it off with some chick, her name I don't remember.

"Going out with Ash would be like going out with my...grandma. I mean EW!" Jordan said. They all laughed. Good sign. Time to make my entrance.

I walked in slowly pretending to be stretching and yawning. "What's so funny?" I ask so innocently. I finally toke a bite of my Oreo. Yum.

"Just...how Jordan didn't shower or put on any deodorant today. I mean, Gross!" Emily covered up. She was good, but not good enough for me.

"Oh," I pretended to be disappointed. "That is gross." For some reason why, I found my self starring at the floor. Remind me again why I didn't wash the kitchen floor. It looked awful. Footprints everywhere from Annie.

"Cody had to bail because of his Mom, and that girl, or whatever had to baby sit or something. At 10 o'clock at night. Yeah alright." Emily explained rolling her eyes. She was right though, I mean it's almost nine thirty. What 4 year old needs baby sitting now? Yay, now we don't have to do the sleepover! I'm sure none of them want to stay the night now!

"Ashlynn, I don't know if these boobs still want to but—I guess we can't do the sleepover anymore." Emily said looking sad and disappointed. She really wanted to do this?

"I guess not." I replied happily.

"What! You guys were gonna let us stay over the night!" You would've thought it was Jordan first sleepover or something. Wow, he's excited to stay over my house, and he's 17. Weirdo.

I sat down on one of the bar stools around the island. I started humming **Electric Feel by MGMT**_,_ _Shock me like an electric eel, _I thought. I started tossing marshmallows into my mouth. They were the colored kind. They didn't look to appetizing.

"But we figured since Cody and Sam left..."

"Who needs Cody and Bimbo anyway?" Brian protested.

"Okay!" Emily replied happy to see that Brian wanted too. Could she be anymore than a pushover.

"I'm up for good nights out." Seth smiled, fixing his shorts. I must've looked annoyed because Seth looked at me funny. That's the second time tonight he did that.

Distracted, I started singing the rest of the chorus to Into You Arms. Emily thinks I have a pretty good voice, so did my old 8th grade music teacher.

"Well, I'm gonna go change if you guys are sleeping over!" I said trying to get away from everyody. I walked towards the hallway to my room, Emily followed me.

Before I could reach my room, I was starting to get pissed. I mean, "I'm not sleeping next those boobs." That came out funny.

Emily started laughing. "Oh please, we'll alternate. It'll be Brian, me, Seth, you, and Jordan. Simple as that." She said that like it was simple as 2 + 2. It wasn't, because the answer isn't four this time.

"Can't I sleep next to Annie?" I asked her hoping I could, "I could where my 'I Hate My Dog' t-shirt!" I grabbed the t-shirt out of one of the drawers and held it out in front of me. "It'll be cute and whimsical."

"Uh, no." She said smugly. She put the t-shirt away and pulled out my 'Love is the Movement' T. She paired it with my Block Island shorts. "There, no shoo!" She waved me away so she could pick out some pajamas to wear herself. I walked inside the bathroom and proceeded to change, wash my face because it was all dry and oily, and brush my hair.

Emily was still changing so I went to go find the guys in the living room. The air mattresses were heavy. They could carry them for me.

"Ashlynn! Where are all your brother's clothes!?" Jordan screamed from my brother Josh's room. I turned around and sighed. I walked through the door of Josh's room and Jordan was tearing around the closets and drawers.

"He's at college stupid." I answered him. Why can't he just wear the clothes he is in now. They look like pajamas to me anyways.

"Uh, its the summer, idiot." He replied curtly still shoving around in the drawers.

"Yeah, and he's in Cancun for the summer."

"So?" He replied curtly.

"Sooo, he doesn't walk around Cancun naked. He brought his clothes with him dumbass."

Emily had walked into the room and was leaning against the frame of the door. "Your clothes look crappy enough to wear to bed anyways Jord."

"Oh, so you girls get to change into sweats and jammies, but we have to stay in our clothes." There is nothing gayer than the word 'jammies.' "You are sure real nice to your guests Ashlynn."

I made a face at him and he stuck his tongue out at me. I glanced over at Brian and Seth were sitting on opposite sides of the bed.

"Come on, I have some XXL shirts from my Dad that you guys could were." My Dad used to be huge when I was really little. He slimmed down a lot since then. He is now a size medium. I think that's great for a 51 year old father of three children.

I led the guys into my room and pulled out the last drawer of my dresser. I had each of them shirts. They seemed satisfied with what they got, and they actually turned out to be a little too big for them. Hah.

We got three air mattress lined up in a row in front of the couch. Someone could have slept on the couch since it's a sectional. Actually 3 people could have. I dug out all the old down comforters of my Mom's closet. Instead digging around my house for a bunch of pillows we just used the decorative pillows from the couch.

After we had everything set and perfect, Annie jumped right up onto the air mattresses and started running around. 'OMG, it's like a big doggie bed, all for me!'

It was only 11 so we decided to watch another movie. Yes Man was the movie of choice. I'd already seen it but I was up for laugh. The movie ended around 12:45. Emily was already passed out on the bed next to brain who looked like he was wired on 30 cups of coffee or something. I knew we shouldn't have bought Red bull.

"That was good." Seth mused slouching into the couch next to me. His hair was all staticy from the couch material. He was cute in the I-work-at-the-coffee-shop-and-play-acoustic-guitar way.

"What? The movie or the Oreo you just ate?" I asked him, awaiting clarification.

"Both." He smiled nonchalantly. Jordan came back from going to the bathroom. He flung himself onto the last air mattress.

"Well, kids, I'm hitting the hay." Jordan says, "Who's joining me?"

Seth stands up and stretches, "Me," he states. Seth groans and lays his head on his pillow gently.

"Oh, no no no." Jordan pushes Seth away, "What am I, gay?" He asks.

I beg to differ, I mean seriously, jammies?

"Well, I don't know, are you?" Seth teases.

"Ashlynn, help!"

"I'm be there in a sec," I say walking towards to kitchen to get a glass of water. After I drank it all, I walk back to everybody and the lights were already out. Great! I stumble my way around till I found the air mattress. I lost my balance and fall on top of Jordan and Seth. They didn't even seem to notice, except Jordan going, "What the...Oh, hi."

"Thanks for leaving the lights on for me." I express my gratitude towards him. I could see him smirk at me in the dark. I laid on my side with my back to Jordan. They both were extremely close to me. Don't they know that there is a whole other mattress laying there?

I tapped Jordan's arm and said, "Oh, and if I _ever _kiss you, it would be nothing like kissing your Grandmother." I feel two sets of eyes on me and I fall asleep, happy with myself.


	4. 3: Seventeen Forever

Chapter 3

_Seventeen Forever by Metro Station_

I woke up early the next morning around nine to take a quick shower. Everyone was still sleeping when I got up. I walked passed the sliding doors to the deck and saw the heat rising off the concrete around the pool. _It's gonna be a hot one_, I thought.

I walked into my room and grabbed a bikini and a change of clothes. I figured Emily and I could go to the beach. All of my other stuff was already in the bathroom. I grabbed my iHome and plugged my iPod into it. It was loud but not loud enough for anyone in the living room to hear it. I put on **Into Your Arms by the Maine**, because that seemed to be my song for the day.

Music seems to explain my life for me. Whatever song on my iPod suits me for the day I don't stop listening to it. Even though the lyrics to this song don't really suit me, I still love it.

I walked into my bathroom about to get ready for my shower. I almost stumbled right into someone. I looked up at the person standing there washing there hands. It was Seth.

"Whoa there," He said trying to catch me from clumsily falling back. Looking nervous he said, "I was just..." He wasn't able to finish his sentence, but I knew what he was in here for.

"I was just..." I trailed off waving towards the shower. I laid all my clean clothes on the rug he was standing on. I plugged my iHome into the outlet and turned it down. I didn't want the battery dying half way through my shower.

"Well, I gotta take my shower, sooo" I started shooing him away, but he didn't even budge.

"You smell fine to me." I toke a shower two days ago and flat iron my hair, but that was a waste since we went in the pool. Hey, atleast he said I smelled nice. That is always a plus in my book. But two days. GROSS!

"Girls versions of when they have to take a shower and guys versions of when they need to take a shower are _very_ different." I tell him taking two towels out of the small closet next to the shower. I put them on the floor in front of the shower door. I like to dry myself inside the shower. It's something about the steam that clean out my pours. People always tell me I have great skin.

"You can take one after me if you want," I say getting some more stuff, like deodorant, body lotion from Bath & Body Works, (it makes me smell delicious) hair gel so my hair isn't so poufy when its curly, and other typical things. "Unless you wanna jump in the pool or something."

"A shower sounds nice because I have to work at 11 and is this **Punchline**?" He was referring to song playing now. I wonder where he works. He doesn't look like the Providence Place Mall type.

"Yeah, its **'The Getaway'** and how do you know that song?" Usually guys only like there metal and rap. Not really Alternative-indie songs that I listen too.

"Well, where I work one of my co-workers plugs her iPod into the store's stereo and I recognized the sound."

"Where do you work?" I ask him putting the shower water on so it will be burning hot once Seth leaves.

The steam emerges from the shower door and comes between us. He swallows, "At the small Starbucks near Target and then at Ray Mullin's Music Store during the week." He explains how Starbucks gives him such weird hours and stuff. He and I were getting very hot in that small room, the mirrors were already starting to fog.

He eventually stops the conversation and leaves me to take my shower. I toke a short shower but sat on the bottom of the tub for about 15 minutes just thinking. I can't stand when people take really long showers and then complain about being late.

My iHome tells me its 10:15. I jump up and start drying off because I don't want Seth to be late for his job.

I change singing along to the song **She (For Liz) **by **Parachute**.

"She...she is the words that I can't find...how can the only thing..." I opened the door and walked out in just my bikini and an over-seized t-shirt. I figured I would let Seth jump in and I would change in my room. I left my iHome in the bathroom think he might want to listen to music as he bathes himself.

"Hey," He said passing me by. As I walked into my room, I could feel that he checked me out. He stood in my doorframe as I looked for something decent to put on. "And may I ask why you have a bikini on at 10:30 in the morning?" He asks, his head tilted to the side. He is holding what i am assuming his workoutfit. He must've drove gome and got it.

"We're going to the beach later." I answered him picking out jean booty shorts and a black tank to pair with a really low cut tiger print t-shirt.

Jordan was walking by and just decided to waltz right in. He patted Seth's shoulder and was all, "You miss out all the fun, hot girls in bikinis, Laguna Beach water, and plus you tan." He laid down on my bed and hugs one of my through pillows.

"We don't get there until like four, so if you wanna drop by after work or something your welcome to do that." I tell him slipping into my shorts. I looked up at Seth, and he asked why we go so late.

I didn't really feel explain why I go so late, but Jordan toke that up for me. "She likes to watch the sunset on the beach because 3 years ago her—"

"Jordan!" I hid my face by turning around and putting my tank top on then my T over it.

Seth must've had a confused face because Jordan started again, "She gets a little testy when I tell people about her—"

This time it wasn't me that stopped Jordan from going any further, "Jordan!" Emily yelled at him, You could tell she was ticked off at Jordan, and not just ticked off because he did something stupid, like really emotionally-deep-ticked-off.

I turned around now, figuring my face was safe, Emily walked off past Seth, yah, Seth was still there in the doorway starring at me with those big green eyes. He looked at me with a confused and completely intrigued face. I brushed past him to find Emily. I knew where she would be.

On the roof above my parent's bedroom. We could see the world from there. That's were we always had our talks. Our rants, And our encouragement talks in seventh grade when girls were so awful.

* * *

Once we got to the beach I cranked the iHome on shuffle. I had a fully charged battery, so it better not die. Emily and Brian decided to go on a walk and try to see how many times her aunt Lizzie would have to go back and fourth to make 5 miles. I'm guessing twice, because that's a pretty long walk.

Jordan stayed on the blanket with me for a while until these 'hot chicks' game and sat somewhere around us. He apologized for being such an ass earlier, he said he forgets sometimes. Whatever.

I tried to fall asleep to William Beckett's song "**His Girl Friday**" with his band **The Academy Is...**

I woke up after what seemed to be like a second. Jordan was still after those girls, and Emily and Brian are still on their journey.

"Hey! You're up!" Someone calls from infront of me. I was still rubbing my eyes from being tired and I really didn't feel like glancing up because I was afraid it was going to be one of the owner's sons asking me for my number again. There both around 20 too. Why do they need my number I'm sure there is a whole lot of prettier and slutty girls in their colleges.

I look up and see its not either of them, it's Seth. He has an usual happy expression. No ones ever this happy to see me away, except maybe Annie, but she doesn't count.

"Hi" I say, my voice sounds dry and crackly. He comes and lays down on the blanket next to me. I try to take a peek at his watch as he adjusts in the sand. He hid his arm so I could see fast enough. He said he had to work 'til 4.

"Did you find it here OK?" I ask him putting my red hot ray bands back on my head. It was really sunny out.

He nods, "Since it was private and everything, it toke me a while but I'm here." he explains squinting at me. The sun was shinning directly on his face.

The song **So Contagious** by **Acceptance** ends and **Into Your Arms** by **The Maine** begins.

_Yay!_ I thought.

But Seth groaned and switched it. What's his problem?

"Hey!" I say hitting his arm. He looks at me, hurt. Jesus, I didn't even hit him that hard.

"Sorry!" He defends himself, "I've heard this song too many times, first you singing it, then playing it when you ran into me in the bathroom, then it played when I was in the shower, then at Starbucks it came on. I betcha' they don't even play this song in the actual state Maine." He complains.

He sighed, "I love this song..." He starred out in the horizon. It looked like it was about 6:30. The song he was talking about was one of my favorite **James Taylor** songs. "You know he's why I play guitar." Hah, I had him figured out from the start. Drinks coffee and/or works at a coffee shop. And he does! Now he plays guitar just like I guessed.

Seth starts digging around in the cooler.

What he just said didn't make any sense. "What did he like come to your house and force you to play guitar or something?" I asked confused.

I watched him pull out a large iced coffee. I'm guessing it was for him, but I read on the side it said in sharpie: Extra sugar, light on the cream, ash. Like for Ashlynn or did they put ashes in it. God, that would be nasty.

I was shocked that he got me a coffee, and especially to my exact liking. "Is that for me?" I ask pointing to the coffee with my eyebrows raised. He nods and takes out a medium for himself I'm guessing. He liked his coffee loaded with cream I'm guessing because it was almost white.

I take a sip and its delicious. It was absolutely perfect. I wonder if he made the coffee.

I heard him laughing on the side of me. I looked at him waiting for him to explain the punch line to me. "You had this look on your face like you've never had coffee in your life before or something. You make it look like it tastes so good."

"We'll it does!" I protest. "But why did you get me a large?" I ask him. I sat up properly now looking at him through my bright red ray bands.

"Brian told me you're addicted. I decided to get the amateurs smalls." He smiled laughing.

I tugged on the sleeves of my high school sweatshirt nervously. Suddenly I felt very hot. I checked to see if he had his bathing suit on. He didn't. No going in the water for me today I guess then. Then I notice that he doesn't have his shirt on or his shoes, which is acceptable, I mean it's the beach. I'm the one with the sweatshirt on over my bathing suit. He seems to have a toned upper body. I look away hoping he didn't notice that I was looking.

"Wanna go for a walk?" I ask him totally out of the blue. Even for me too, my mind is a little surprised at what my mouth just asked.

I stood up and so did he, I guess his answer was yes. "Can we bring the tunes?" He asks pointing to the iHome.

I laugh because what are we going to do? Have it blasting on our walk make sure everybody knows were coming? There's only like five other groups on the walk we are going but the less attention the better. "If you wanna walk around with it on your shoulder, cranked to as loud as it could go and be all emo, be my guest, but I do have earphones."

He points at me with this glazed look in his eye. "You, you've got the brains." I toke my iPod out of the iHome and dug around in my beach bag pockets for the earphones.

The earphones were sort of difficult to use because we had to have our heads extremely close even though he is a only couple of inches taller than me. If he wanted to walk on the sand and I wanted to walk in the water his earbud would fall out.

"Okay, this isn't working out." He said a little aggravated. It toke me a second to realize he was talking about.

After I put the iPod securely in my pocket to my Joseph Case High sweatshirt, we ended up talking about ourselves. I found out that he is a junior at Case, he plays acoustic and electric guitar ...kind of already knew about that one and that his entire goal in life is to become insanely rich, die without marrying anyone and leave his entire fortune to a monkey.

He thinks that marriage is a waste of money. I mean, if you love someone why do you have to announce it in the newspaper and make a big deal out of it he says.

Whoa, deep.

"Yeah, but what if you fall completely in love with this beautiful woman who really wants to get married? Since you love her so much would you cave and let her have what she wants?"

"Well, I don't know, but only if it's a small wedding. I mean _tincy wincey_ small." He looks at me then but when it becomes awkward he says, "Race you to the old lifeguard chair!"

He darts before me, but since I'm 2nd fastest on my track team I zoom by him. I get to the chair like a second before he does.

As we were catching our breathe he says, "Where did you learn to run like that?"

I laugh and ignore him. I start climbing up the lifeguard chair. Luckily the life guard chair is big enough for three more of me, so me and Seth won't be squished up here.

This was my favorite place to watch the sunset, I figured it was about 7 so the sunset is close.

I sit back and I watch Seth make his way up. He sat down next to me and leaned against the back of the chair. He toke in the scenery in front of him.

"Whoa, that's, just whoa." He had no words to describe it. Nobody ever did except Ian my older brother.

"I love coming up here and just thinking I can fade away, forget it all for just a couple hours." I told him hugging my knees.

I turned to look at him and found him starring at me like he was trying to read me, but he just couldn't.

After the sunsets, its dark. I stand up on the chair stretch and yawn. It feel like I'm queen of the world or something. I look down off the chair and it doesn't look that far. About 6 feet. "I'm going to jump," I say to Seth.

He doesn't believe me until and I position myself to do it.

"Wait!" he yells holding his arms up to me, "At least let me get down first so if you fall and like break a bone I can save you!" Pshh, like he can save me.

He climbs down slowly, maybe he thought I would think myself out of it or something. I mean, its only six feet, he's over thinking everything. He must think I'm attempting suicide or something.

I close my eyes, take in a breath and jump.

For all I know, I land on my feet, or else I'm dead and in heaven or something.

"Impressive," He applauds when I make my landing.

I was a little impressed with myself too, usually I'm not that graceful. I guess I missed my calling. Free-falling Ashlynn.

"Yeah?" I say questioning his confidence in me.

We start walking again but this time in the water because it feels so warm against the cool breeze. It seemed like we were the only ones on the beach, and I bet we were the last ones. No one stays 'til 8 at the beach. Well, except me.

Somehow the conversation got onto relationships.

Well, I do know how it got there because he asked me, "So, do you date?"

"Yeah, but I'm not looking for anything, I'm waiting for it to come to me." I explain to him. It's still light enough out that we can see were we are going and how far ahead we have to go until we hit C.K. Beach Club.

"Mhm," He nods, hiding his face from me.

But I just keep going, "I hate how if you walk through the mall and you see a bunch of 13 year old couples. I mean what kind of relationship is that?"

"I know!" He rants, "My younger cousin is 13 and he tells me that he has a girlfriend and everything. I mean seriously? What, does he take her to Burger King?"

I laugh, "The first week of Freshman year I got asked out by this really cute guy and he toke me to Burger King and made _me _pay."

"What a douche." He shakes his head, "I would never have taken a girl out like you to_ Burger King_." He makes a sour face as he says 'burger king.'

I laugh because I don't want to be all, "You would've taken me out somewhere better than Burger King, you're such a gentleman." But instead I say, "Hah, that is why I only date guys that are two years older than me. I would eat a boy my age alive. Like Jordan or Brian? Way too immature." I sigh, "Emily is always saying, 'Don't you want a guy that makes you laugh though?' I tell her that you don't have to do stupid things to make me laugh, I would want a guy that would—"

"There you guys are!" Emily screams as she is running towards us. She has this bloodshot look in her eyes, has she been crying? "I was getting worried!" She states.

"Emily...what's wrong and where did Jordan and Brian go, I don't see Jord's car." I say concerned reaching towards her to rub her arm.

"Oh, he and Brian left with those two girls Jordan was trying to hook up with." She says waving me off like she was totally okay with it.

I shot Seth an apologetic look as he walked off to the blanket figuring this was a girl thing. Brian plays Emily a lot, one second he's totally into her and then the next, this.

"What? And left you here all by yourself?" God, I swear. I'm gonna kill those two boobs once we get home.

"Yeah, I was gonna come find you and then it was dark and I didn't want to pass you and be completely lost. You know?" She sat on top of the cooler. She rubbed her face, I could tell she was upset but she was trying to keep it together since Seth was still here.

"How the hell are we gonna get home?" I scream, a little too loudly. "Ugh, that little bastard." I mumble throwing myself on the blanket angrily.

"Uh, yeah, hello? I'm still here you know." Seth waves his hand in our faces that was holding his cell phone. He must've been checking messages.

"Yeah we know, Seth" I wave him off, hoping he'd shut up until I figure out a way to get us home. Unfortunately I forgot my cell, so I can't call anyone and Emily doesn't believe in cell phones soo...but there is always his.

"Yeah, but have you guess forgotten how I got here, I didn't walk all the way here you know?" He's babbling, what's his point?

"Oh yeah!" Emily declares, "We can get a ride from him!"

"Eh, I guess, well, if its okay with you," I motion towards Seth, "Then I guess..."

Emily starts packing all the stuff quickly. I roll up the blanket while Seth brings the car around so we wouldn't have to walk far with all our crap.

We loaded up the stuff in the back of his red Jeep Wrangler. I gave Emmy the front seat seeing that Brian totally ditched her.

As Emily was going to the bathroom in the beach house Seth said to me, "I wonder if Jordan and Brian toke those girls to Burger King." He looks at me and grins. I laugh.

See, not immature but still funny.

Since there was no backseat in his Jeep we kind of made a backseat in the back by putting blankets down and putting the cooler in back of them so its like a rest. Its good enough for me.

As we were driving I ask Seth for his phone, he asks why and I tell him my parents email me around this time. Luckily he has a sidekick just like me, so I know you can check email. After he gives it to me, I instead go to his contacts list and look for Brian G. I find it then send him a text saying, "You're a jackass, and btw this is Ashlynn."

I click send, then go back to his contact list and click 'new contact' I fill out my name and phone number and click save then hand him back his phone.

It was a quiet ride other than the radio playing 9.55 WBRU. I knew some of the songs on this station but he seemed to know them all of them tapping on the steering wheel to the beat.

He pulls into my driveway and stops the car. Suddenly his phone beeps. I freeze thinking it might be Brian replying. I didn't think Brian would be that stupid, but you never know.

"Who is it?" I ask him nervously.

"Just one of my co-workers wondering if I want to go to a party tonight." He says getting out of the car not replying to the text. _Pheww, _I think relieved.

He opens the back and helps Emily and I unload the stuff and bring it to the door.


	5. 4: Gravity

Chapter 4

_Gravity by The Fold_

I'm insane.

Because I found my self driving to the Starbucks to get a coffee a week later. I don't even have a license! I have a permit, but that want do any good since I don't have a good driver over 18 with me. So if I get pulled over I'm screwed.

I _never _go to Starbucks, I was always a Dunkin' Donuts girl or a Tim Horton's girl. Never a _Starbucks girl_, I thought like it was a bad thing.

My parents were back from there "business trip." They own this company together that keeps them traveling all around the East cost. They travel to different inns and B&B's and try to get the owners to sell the property to them and have it under their roof. Pretty stupid job if you ask me, but the original inn owners still work there and run the place but the only difference is that they now make a _lot _of money.

I pull into the parking lot of the coffee shop and lay back in my seat. I groan and turn off the car.

**C'mon (On My Own)** by **Chester French** pauses in the middle of the word 'stars'.

After I got out of the car I looked around the parking lot for Seth's jeep, I spotted it on the side of the store.

I sigh,

_Why am I here?_ I think.

Instead sitting in the car I walk into the store. It has this calming, surreal atmosphere. This would be one of those cool college hot spots everyone comes to write and hang. There are small modern tables for two, four and there is a couch in the far corner with a sign that says, "Wi-Fi"

The line moves quickly then all of a sudden I'm next to order. He smiles at the middle-aged divorcé making her feel good for the day as he hands her her coffee and muffin.

He doesn't look up at me when I'm placing my order. Does he not notice its me? Or did he see me walk in and wants to ignore me?

"I'll have a..." I pretend to be unsure about what I want, "A large iced coffee, Light on the cream and extra sugar."

Now he looks up, sees me and grins. "Hey," He states happily, then turns to one of his co-workers, and says "Hey, Lila, large iced coffee, light cream, extra sugar." He taps his fingers on the counter.

"Why can't you do it lazy?" She snaps at him.

"Because I'm not the one who is sitting in a chair singing along to my iPod, now who did you say was lazy again?"

She makes a face at him and starts to get my order.

"Soo," He thinks of something to say, "How ya been?"

"Good, fine, you know." I tell him smugly. I shrug as I hand him the money I owe.

"Ohh, something must be really bad."

"How'd ya know?"

"Because you shifted from good to fine in less than two seconds."

Oh. "Well? What's Wrong?" He asks me.

"Just...my parents are back and Brian is just...well a jackass." I tell him not even moving away from the counter even though the man behind me just cleared his throat impatiently.

"Yeah I kind of figured...Lila, I'm taking my break, take these orders, dammit!" He walks around the counter and comes with me to find a table. He didn't seem to care about the lady standing in line giving him the death glare since we just swore infront of her 9 year old son.

_Please lady, he probably already knows about sex, he's gonna start swearing before you know it. He's a guy!_

"What do you mean, you kind of figured?" I ask him confused. I already drank half my coffee. I must look like a pig. I quickly push the drink way from me.

"Well, I saw the message you sent him on my phone." He said like it was no big deal. Well, it wasn't but...

"How'd you know?" I ask him totally surprised that he actually looks in his "sent messages" box.

"C'mon Ashlynn, a teenager who is _so eager to hear from her parents _just has to check her email? Who's watching that movie?" He said 'so eager to hear from her parents' in a high pitched voice.

"True." I agreed.

I asked him what he's been up to since I last saw him. He said that he's mostly been working and hanging around his house.

"Most of my friends are either with their girlfriends or their parents are dragging them to family dinners and stuff." He explains looking a little down. "Enough about me, what about you?"

"My parents came back, and they're cool, they are still madly in love after 27 years of being married, so they are too involved in each other to care what I do." I explain to him talking a little to fast for my normal speed. God, I gotta stop drinking coffee. "That's how I slipped out of the house today with out anyone noticing." I smile at him.

"Wait, what?" He looked puzzled, "I thought you were only fifteen? Who drove you?"

"I drove myself," I smiled to myself proudly.

"Ashlynn, you're like 15!" He started yelling, and leaned closer to me after he realized everyone in the store was looking at us. "If you get pulled over, you're screwed." He started whispering.

"Yeah, you think I don't know that. Its not that big of a deal. My house is like five miles away." I shrug him off.

"Hey, don't call me when you get pulled over." He sinks back into his seat looking away.

"I don't even know your number!" I protest.

"Huh," He pulls out his cell phone from the back pocket of his khakis. "I have yours." He winks at me.

I blush and smile.

"Uh, hey, lazy over there!" Lila screams at Seth from behind the counter, she looks panicked because a huge line is waiting to get served. "Get your butt over here and help me with these orders!"

He started getting up, but slowly, like he didn't want to get away from me. "So, there's this party tomorrow night at my friend's cousin's house celebrating our last day of freedom before we go back to school and I was wondering if you were going to be there?" He asks me. Can he make that question any more wordy?

"Uh, yeah I'm going with Emily." I answer him, Why does he care?

"So maybe we can play a 90210 moment and I can be, 'Hey, you're here,' and you can be all, 'Oh my God, you're here too!'" He says stepping behind the counter

"Okay first of all I don't talk like that, and second of all, _You watch 90210_?!" I ask him shocked,

He ignores my question and starts taking orders. I start walking away, I guess that mean see ya.

"Hey," He says as I'm about to open the door, "Have someone drive you okay? I don't want to be bailing you and Emily out from jail tonight, alright?"

I smile at him and say, "No promises."

* * *

"Hurry it up!" I scream to Emily from my room. She's been in the bathroom fixing her face for about ten minutes. I mean no one needs that much makeup on, even Lauren Conrad doesn't even wear this much make-up and she works as a consecutive for Mark.

"Hold on, not my fault all you have to put on in eyeliner and mascara and just a little foundation." She yelled back at me from my bathroom.

The only bathroom downstairs is right off my room. I like to call it my bathroom because I'm the only one who uses it, since Josh is off in Cancun somewhere with his buddies for the summer.

Finally Emily emerges from the bathroom looking stunning. Suddenly I'm rethinking my 'just eyeliner and mascara.'

Since it's only 7:30 we don't want to show up to the party like early freaks we sit and catch up on my bed.

"He so likes you," Emmy tells me taking some chips out of the bag. We were talking about how Seth was all, "are you going or not."

"Yeah, but I don't want to over think anything he does, you know? I don't want to be all psycho like that Heather girl." I'm lying on my stomach on top of my bed playing with the fur on my through pillows.

"Oh please, remember how he had the intrigued look on his face when Jordan almost told him about your brother. He finds you interesting." She encouraged me. "Intriguing." She sad with more meaning this time.

It was now 8:13 and we were leaving the house and jumping into my mother's car. She offered to drive because she was going out with her 'girlfriends' to celebrate one of there birthdays or something. I wasn't really listening when she told me.

The cool thing was that she didn't even seemed to mind when we pulled up to a house that had a million cars and blasting music.

It turned out to be a pretty big blow-out four our small town. It seemed like every Sophomore, Junior, and Senior was at this party.

As Emily and I made our way around the house to try to find the kitchen **Fifteen** by **Taylor Swift** was playing loudly. Kind of sappy song to play at a party, don't you think?

We found our way to the kitchen and three guys were standing there drinking out of red party cups. Great, I hope thats lemonade.

One of the guys turned around and smiled at us as he checked us out. "I love when pretty girls come to my party." He said to himself.

Emily and I giggled. "What can I get you pretty ladies?" He said leaning on the island.

"Just some soda, anything you've got, we'll take it." I said to him reaching for two blue cups hoping these were new and not used.

Blondie was kind of hovering over us so I tried to make conversation with him. Emily wandered off to see if she saw anyone she knew.

"So, what do your parents think your doing right now?" I asked looking around the house to see people making out and guys laughing loudly at each other when they didn't make a score on some chick that looked like a playboy model.

"They think I'm doing this." He told me opening his arms up to the party. "My mom had me when she was like 17, and my step-dad's a total douche so they pretty much don't care what I do." He explains.

"That's cool," I say looking around for Emily. I was stuck here in between the island and a group of guys behind me. Need an escape... "Well...I gotta go find my friend, so I guess I'll see you around?" I point back to where Emily went off.

"Yeah," He waves to me as I walk away.

I walk through crowds of people then I spot Jordan saying bye to some girl. What a player.

"Hey!" He greets me enthusiastically. "You going in the pool?" He asks me.

"I didn't even know there was a pool," I tell him. "And I don't have my bathing suite either."

He has to yell at me now because **Shake It** by **Metro Station** is blasting over the speakers. "I'll drive you to your house so you can go get one."

"Oh, no Jordan, its okay—" I try to tell him but by then he's grabbing my arm and pulling me through crowds towards the door.

I have to shout out a lot of 'sorry's' to people I bumped into on my way out. the last person I bumped into I almost smacked in the head since I was making a sharp turn.

I turned around to apologize and it was Seth. "Hey!" I wave as I'm being pulled away from him. But he doesn't wave back, instead he looks at me disappointed.

_What did I do?_ I think.

* * *

The line to the bathroom is moving slowly. I think I'm like the 50th person in line.

A girl just walked past me smelling badly. She was rubbing her mouth with a washcloth. Ewwwww...

"Did you just see that girl?" I ask the girl infront of me.

"Yeah, can you say disgusting? If I didn't have to go so bad I would've gotten out of the line." She looks down at the bathing suite I'm holding then turns around.

"Hey! Long line, huh?" Blondie asks me, he was the guy that gave me my drink.

"Yeah, but if you throw a party and there is a long line to the bathroom it's supposedly a good thing. If you don't have a long line, the party is a dud." I tell him. How more stupider can I sound?

"Oh yeah?" He says leaning against the staircase. "Well, I mean, if you wanna go upstairs in that bathroom you totally can." He says smiling at me, his hair flows into front of his eyes and he swooshes it away all sexy. He's trying to hard.

"It's okay, I'm just changing." I lift up my hand that's holding my bathing suite.

"Oh, that's funny because I was just heading up to my room to change into my suit too."

Yeah, hilarious. "Oh, can I change in your room, too?"

He grins thinking that I'm gonna like change in front of him or something. Uh, not happenin' buddy.

I follow him upstairs and down the hallway towards his room. It's very white. White doors, white walls, not even a lively painting or anything.

He's unlocking his door, _Smart, _I think. I wouldn't want anybody hooking up in my room if I threw a party.

Once he got it unlocked he walked in and didn't even close the door. I thought he was changing? He looks at me like he's waiting for me to come in.

"Uh, no. I'm not gonna change in front of you. I barely even know you." I say disgusted.

He holds out his hand to me and says, "Jesse."

Haha, very funny. Still not changing with ya buddy. "Ashlynn." I introduce myself sarcastically and shake his hand.

He finally gets the picture and closes the door behind him. He comes out in a bright red bathing suit.

"What are you a lifeguard?" I ask him motioning towards his bathing suit. It's so bright!

He admits that he volunteers at the Boys and Girl's club in Pawtucket. Which I think is nice, you know, giving back to the community.

I go into change into my blue anchor bikini and I notice that his room is nothing like the rest of the house. His walls are bright blue and one wall is dedicated just to posters. I'm shocked not to see any porn posters up on his walls. Its mostly just movie and band posters. I change and fold up my clothes and lie them on his bed.

I open the door and Jesse's there leaning against the wall. He likes to lean on things, huh.

"I hope its okay if I left my clothes in there, I don't want to lose them, you know?" I tell him walking down the stairs

"Oh yeah, that's totally cool." He replies nonchalantly.

We weaved our way in and out of groups to get to the back door. **Down** by **Jay Sean** was blasting over the speakers. I was glad they finally put some lively music on.

You had to walk on this stone path until you could even see the pool. It was atleast 100 yards from there house. Weird place for a pool. Jordan was right about the size of the pool though. It was enormous. It had to be three times the size of my pool. There was a volley ball net over the pool and a diving board. There were girls on top of guys shoulders hiting the ball over the net.

Jesse ran off the diving board and dived into the water. He jumped up for air and shaked his hair around. It was all cute and sticking out the sides.

"You coming in or not?" He asks me swimming to the side of the pool. He rested his arms on the concrete and pushed himself up. There was a latter like two feet away from him.

"I'm gonna ask my friend Emily if she's coming in, Ok." I started backing away from him. He didn't seem to mind because he did a canon ball right infront of a group of guys. They all started cursing at him and dunking him under.

I turned around and starting walking towards Emily and then Seth jumps in front of me out of nowhere.

_Where the hell did he come from?_ I thought.

"Oh my, You're here!" He says. Silly.

"Dude, you're here too!" I try to act surprised and excited but instead I end up laughing. And I can't stop because I notice these nerd glasses he and all his friends have on. They're those glasses that the nerd Irkel wears in _Family Matters_.

We were both cracking up about nothing. "Wha...are...we...laughing...'bout?" He asks in-between laughs.

"You're glasses dumbass," I tell him calmly after we get ourselves together.

"So, you going in?" Seth asks referring to the pool. I see he only had on his bathing suit. Maybe I could get him to go in with me.

"Yeah, I was just about too but," I see Emily behind Seth waving her arms frantically at me, "Be right back, Emily looks like she is landing airplanes or something."

My chests brushes against his and I see that he had to catch a breathe of air. Boys.

Emily is now lounging on one of the chairs they had put out around the pool.

"What was so funny over there, I thought you guys were dying at first." She asks taking a sip of her soda.

"Nothing really." I explain watching the light of the waves in the water reflect on the trees.

"He's so jealous of that Jesse kid." She explains to me playing with the hem of her bikini bottom. "He _sooo_ likes you." She points at me as she puts emphasis on the word 'so'

I smile to myself and look in his direction, he was looking at me and Emily giggling away. I hope he couldn't hear. Then Brian walks up to Seth and starts talking to him. they both look in our direction a couple of times.

"This can't be good," Emily whispers to me as Brian, Seth and Jordan all walk our way.

Jordan has the most serious face its hard to tell its actually him. But then I look down and see a Hannah Montana sticker on his leg and I know its still the same Jordan.

"Emily," Jordan says sternly, "Mom and Dad are out in front, they seem serious and they want us to come home."

Emily stands up believing all this. You can't be serious? "What?"

I stand up too, because I was thinking that was apart of their plan.

Jordan stands there as Brian runs for Emily and Seth runs to me. Oh, great.

They pick us both up by the waist and flop us over their backs. What are we, pancakes? "Charge!" Jordan screams after us.

They jump in with us on their backs and I'm sure we made the biggest splash ever made in history because I hear people on the lounge chair scream.

Underneath the water all you can see it bubbles. We all jumped in so close to each other I was afraid some of us were gonna head-butt each other.

I came up for air the same time Seth did. We were starring right at each other, and then he says, "Wanna go to Burger King?"

I laugh and find myself nodding at him.

That's why thirty minutes later I find us in his car eating out of paper bags.

And I didn't have to pay.


	6. 5: Got My List

Chapter 5

_Got My List by 7 Seconds_

"Hot! Hot! Jesus, that's hot!" I yell waving my arms infront of my mouth trying to get some cold air on my burnt tongue.

Right now I'm in _his _car eating Burger King out of paper bags, and the fries a freaking hot!

Even though he said he would've taken me somewhere way better than BK that day at the beach, I kind of like this because it like our thing in a weird and twisted way. We had to eat in the car because they close that actual restaurant-restaurant because they've had some weirdos come into the store when its late.

"Here, there is only ice in the cup." He said shoving a cup in my face. He'd already drank his medium coke? We just got it! I toke the cup from him and poured an ice cube into my mouth.

I make a sour face when it was too bitter. "Cold, but useful." I hand the cup back to him. It seemed like we were crammed into his little Jeep. But he didn't even seem to notice. Or care.

I kept my passenger door opened because it seemed to be so hot in the car.

"Soo," He muses trying to find something to say. It was nice when we were just eating, too starved to make conversation. It wasn't the kind of awkward date silence. Not that this is a date anything thing. Is it? I mean he did pay... "You got any hidden talents I'm not aware of?" He asks interrupting my thoughts. More like my babbled thoughts.

"I'm famous." I tell him after swallowing a bite from my burger. Everything's Magic by Angels and Airwaves come on through the side speakers. We had my iPod plugged into his cool carjack thingy magigy

"Really? Wait, that really isn't a talent but..." He smiled looking totally interested. Yeah, sure. Interested by me? His expression fell, "Wait, your not like famous from porn or anything are you?" He asked looking worried.

"God no. I was on TV when I was like five." I explained to him, clarifying that I was never a porn star and never will be one. I started crumbling up the wrapper my seconds burger came in. I hope I didn't look like a pig, but then again I'm always hearing about how guys like girls who can eat.

"You didn't attempt to murder someone with one of your Barbie dolls did you?" He raised him eyebrows at me like that was a possibility. I laugh because I knew he was joking.

"No, I was on AFV, that show where if you win Most Funniest video you get ten thousand buckaroos," I throw all my trash into one of the paper bags, "I came in 3rd place so we didn't win anything."

"You have an act for comedy, my dear." He said grabbing the paper bag full of trash I was holding. "I mean, you're hilarious in your sleep." He says putting his trash in the bag.

"In my sleep? Oh, yeah, that isn't creepy at all." I said sarcastically.

"No, when I met you that first night, when I slept over? You were right next to me, and you almost hit in my in face." He covered her heart, "Dodged a bullet."

I laughed because he was so serious. "Why what kind of hysterical things did I say?" I asked him eating the last few onion rings out of his container.

I don't know, maybe it was the food I'm smelling, but his car doesn't have that new car smell. Its smells different, like...I don't know. It smells good. That's about it.

"I mean, 'Dad! Where the hell is the rest of the toilet paper?' That one sent me flying with laughter," He waved his arms like he was about to take flight.

"Yeah..." I eyed him suspiciously. I don't remember that. "So I guess we'd better be going..." I wasn't try get out of ... this ... whatever you'd like to call it. But I caught a glimpse of the time on his watch and it was 12:30. We've really been here that long?

"It's only 12:30. Its tomorrow. It's early on a Wednesday morning. We could go have breakfast at one of those 24 hour diners." He thinks.

"We do have school tomorrow you know. And its at 7:15 in the morning. All this," I motion my hand around my face, "gets done while I sleep." I say acting like a total drama queen.

"Please, you look awesome." He says like a drag queen.

"A little gayer, please?" I say pointing to my ear.

"You know what I mean," He looks sympathetic.

He turns on the car and starts heading towards my house. This Burger King is in another town so luckily it's a longer drive to my house.

But that's totally ironic because I was just complaining that we needed to get home and now I'm all, Yay, long drive.

I sit back and relax as Seth and I argue over which **Between the Trees** song is better.

_**White Lines & Red Lights** _or _**The Way She Feels**_.

* * *

"Aww," Emily stares at me touched, "That's so cute...wait," She comes to her senses, "How is that cute?"

We were in the cafeteria eating our crappy bought lunches. The special today was a chicken sandwich. It wasn't special at all. The chicken tastes like it hadn't been cooked and the bread looked moldy. The only kind of special was the stop-eating-the-paste-special.

Yesterday, for the official first day of school, we didn't have lunch. It was more of a pep-rally type of first day. Which was cool because we didn't have any homework or classes. Always a bonus in my book.

"I don't know. But it was kind of sweet because we had this whole thing with Burger King from the beach last Friday." I sighed putting down my sandwich. No way was that going near my mouth. "It was kind of our thing."

Two other girls sat next to us at our table. They're the kind of friends you study, bowl, and shop together kind of friends. They were there for more support when one of us needed a little be more than just the other. We kind of stopped hanging out with them when summer started. We didn't call them, they didn't call us. It was kind of understood.

Lauren, the prettiest of us four, was the kind of girl that was popular but very smart. Why she chooses to sit with us, I'd never know. Her Mom & Dad spilt when she was 14, the Dad toke off with some woman from work and left her Mom to pay all the bills and everything. Now they are living in a small condo and her Mom is struggling to make ends meet. But everyday, Lauren comes in looking prettier than ever and just her playful upbeat self.

Her best friend, Jamie, insecure but cute. I swear she's related to one of the redheads on Amazing Race 14. Because she looks like she could be their sister even though her hair was more brown like Rory's on Gilmore Girls.

I swear, too bad none of us had any musical talent, we could've made an awesome girl band.

"What's kind of who's thing?" Laurens asks opening her bag of Lays chips.

"Oh, just Ashlynn and her new boy-toy." Emily squeals. She was digging around in her purse looking for her Bump-it she bought of the TV. It was the small one for her bangs. Her hair was flat ironed today, even though her hair is naturally straight. My hair was curly today, it was tamed, the way I like it. Lauren's chestnut colored hair was pulled into a low side pony-tail. Her waves looked relaxed against her tanned shoulder.

Whoa. Why am I so obsessed with hair today?

"Ohh, spill!" Jamie said looking excited. Jamie was a total slut but she was always completely intrigued by anything anyone else told her about their love lives.

"There is nothing to spill," I explained feeling exhausted, I felt like I've been through this a million times, first with my Mom when I got home that night, then Emily, then Chelsea this morning when I walked into school because she was all, "Who was that hot guy you were walking off with last night?", now them. "I've only known him for a week, he likes me, I like him. Nothing more. Nothings happened yet."

"Name, age, level of hotness." Lauren stated. See, this is what these girls are for, the tell you like it is when it comes to guys.

"Seth, 17, 8 ½." I told them playing with my sandwich. I stuck my finger in the bread, and the mark I left rose back to the top and disappeared. Gross.

"That sounds like he's right up your alley." Jamie tells me opening up her milk. They were going so slow, didn't they know we only had five minutes left of lunch time.

"You don't know his last name though?" Lauren asks.

"I think it's either Westwick or Greene. I'm not too sure." The only way I could remember that is because I think he was one in one of my classes last year. Its too vague.

"Well, I think that is great!" Lauren sits back and grins, "I mean look around this place, its filled with a bunch of fat, emo, ugly sluts who eat to much and wear the most horrendous things." She takes a breathe. I pretend to look around at the Case student body but instead I look for Seth, I can't see him anywhere. Maybe he already left. "We are, in the guys opinion might I add, the prettiest and _hottest_ girls in this school. You know, beside Julia McSweeny and her entourage."

I begin to agree with her even though it's very rude of me. Pawtucket Case High School student body well, isn't that great.

God, I feel awful now for agreeing with Lauren. I mean Lauren's great but at some times she's so frank with everybody it's just rude.

After the bell rang around the school telling us 1st lunch was over. We all went our separate ways to our classes.

* * *

**Starlight** by **Muse** is blasting over my brother's car speakers.

My brother was back from Cancun and was getting ready for college again. He claims that college starts later than high school does. I think its bull crap because he has a girlfriend back in Cancun.

I really hope he doesn't drop out of college for some slutty chick. He's way better than that.

Since he's home he wanted to give me a lift and get to know the little ol' me again. I told him that I had a boyfriend (to get him off my case of course) that Emily was still my best friend, that I'm turning 16 in April, and that still strikingly gorgeous as when he last saw me.

He was all, "A little conceited aren't we." But I know he was only joking.

He pulled up infront of the front doors of big, old, ugly Case. He was all sad and cynical and was all: "The place still looks the same."

I didn't want to hear about his jolly old days so I slammed the door behind me, not saying 'thanks' or 'bye'.

The kids hanging around the doors all looked like they've been through a train crash. What is it with junior girls? I pushed through the tall doors and walked my way through the halls.

Everyone seemed so tense like it was finals season or something. But the thing was, it wasn't, it was only the 3rd day of school. And plus, its Friday. You'd think everyone would be happy for the weekend.

Once I got to my locker I glanced at my Friday schedule, I had Algebra 2 then History. I decided to get my books for History also so I could talk to Emmy instead of rushing to my locker.

Algebra 2 went by like a breeze. Alge_bla_ comes naturally to me, I think it's because I think I was an accountant in another life. All things with numbers are just like breathing.

Our teacher made the class more fun too. He came here from Britain 7 years ago so he still has this deep British accent which is supposed to be really hot but it's not because he's pretty creepy because he's in his late forties and all he does is stare at you. During. The. Whole. Class.

After class ended I tried to find my way to where Emily's locker is. Once I found it, I saw her leaning against her locker and some guy talking to her. He seemed completely charmed. Since I didn't want to interrupted his golden scoring moments I turn the other way and try to be early for History. The dullest subject in the world.

I seemed to be one of the first ones to get into the classroom. The teacher wasn't in the room yet, which was probably a good things because the losers behind me were swearing like they were one of the trampy girls on one of those VH1 realities.

I sank back into my chair and started doodling on the last few pages on my notebook. I started wondering who that guy was that had Emily so charmed.

Another guy taking a swipe at the golden girl. I wonder if she is going to be late for her next class. She has History with me right now, so instead of doodling I put my feet up on the chair on the side of me to save her the seat.

"Hey, was that Josh I saw earlier dropping you off?" Emily made me jump. I didn't even know she came into the room, I was too wrapped up in my doodles. "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to scare you!" She apologized as I removed my legs from her seat. She sat down and turned to talk to me.

"Yeah it was, he's back from Cancun. Yippee!" I told her sarcastically. I wasn't too please that he was back. I mean Josh was the older brother that never really cared for me. Just went off into his own little world. But Ian...maybe it was because he was he was 12 years older and he was more mature. I don't know. I just miss the days when I could go to Ian for life advice.

"Ooo, you can't be too happy about that. But I thought college starts the same time we start." She made a face like she just drank sour milk or something. She never liked Josh either.

"Oh, it does, but apparently not for _his _college. They start late for some apparent reason." I sigh pushing my pen into my head. "I think he's on drugs or something. I mean he's like wicked smart and now he's just throwing college away."

"Okay enough with that shit, Mrs. Sour Puss." She turns around and pretends to be fully interested with what Mrs. Greeley is saying.

The teacher goes on and on for what it seemed like an hour about Theodore Roosevelt. Haven't we heard enough about him already. I mean I remember 7th grade to be all about him and all the crap he did.

I glance at the clock above Mrs. Greeley's head and it's only been 15 minutes. My hand is already killing my from all the note taking I have to do. I wish we could take notes using computers. I can type 90 words a minute. God, I hate history.

I take a break because my hand feels like its cramping up, and rub my eyes. When I woke up this morning they were all puffy. I think its because I was in the pool yesterday for three hours just doing endless laps with Jordan. He's trying to get back on the swim team. He quit two years ago because his Mom thought with all the homework from being in high-school and all, he just dropped out.

"Oh My God, look who just walked in." I opened my eyes and saw Emily pretending to be fixing her hair to catch a look at my expression.

I looked up to Mrs. Greeley and she was accepting a pass from Seth and another junior.

"We were helping Coach Beckett get all the sports equipment from out of the supply closet, for gym nex—" Seth was cut off by Mrs. Greeley looking agitated.

Wait, she always looks agitated. "I don't care, you've already interrupted our lesson enough! Go, get to your seats boys." She shooed them off as she grabbed a piece of chalk and started blabbing again.

Since Case is so poor we have to combine some of our classes, like in this class, there are some sophmores and juniors. Some of the kids hate it because the work is on the junior level, but its too easy for me.

Mrs. Greeley was the only teacher in our school who still used the blackboard and chalk. Everyone else had switched to white board and markers a _long _time ago. But she's just her stubborn self.

The only two seats left were on opposite sides of the room. One behind of me, and one in the front. Obviously, Seth sat behind me. I hadn't seen him since the pep-rally on Wednesday. As Emily and I were walking up the bleachers trying to find a seat on I saw him sitting with a group of friends talking about something that seemed to be completely fascinating.

He brushed past me as he spinned around to take his seat. I leaned forward as I felt him lean forward to talk to me. I really didn't want to get in trouble, so I pretended to be writing away and vaguely interested in what the teacher was saying.

But then he poked me with his pencil. Classic move. And he poked my right in the lower back too. I started to wonder if my shirt was riding up in the back.

I lean back pretending to stretch but actually I say, "There's no gym today, you completely played her."

"Oh," he whispers back into my ear. I can tell he's struggling to lean far enough or his desk to talk to me. Make him work for it. "But she doesn't know that. All she cares about is her hubby Teddy."

I try to hold in my chuckles, because my laugh is insanely loud. Well, maybe not insanely, but its pretty high up there.

"Fire!" Emily yell-whispers on the side of me.

"What?" Seth and I both asked in unison.

"Sorry, I was feeling left out." Emily apologized. But instead of furthering the conversation about Mrs. Greeley's husband Roosevelt, we all toke notes like little angels.

Mrs. Greeley seemed to drag on for hours but the period was only 45 minutes long. Once the bell rang you could feel everyone take a sigh of relief that the class was over. Whoever made up the schedule of having History in the morning was high or something, because History leaves you sad, feeling empty, and very, very tired. But luckily Emily and I both had free period next so we liked to sneak of into the far corner of the library.

"So," Seth engages us with his presence in the hall. "What lunch period do you guys have?" He asked us. I was assuming he had second lunch period because I didn't see him yesterday. But you never know. I mean, he wasn't in History class yesterday, and all of a sudden today...?

"First," Emily answered him. We were now at my locker and I was quickly shoving my books into it. Emily put her books into it too because she could just pick them up on Monday.

"Oh, that's cool."

"Why? Do you not have first lunch?" I ask him because he didn't really clarify what lunch he had. He was just like, 'that's cool.'

"No, I do." I said grinning at me.

"Then why the long face?" Emily asked him looking concerned. We were still walking towards the library; shouldn't he be walking to class? There is no possibility that he has free period now too.

"None of my friends are in that period, and all I have to sit with are the tools Bret Forman, Cody McKinnon, and you know, Jordan." He sighed seeming disappointed. He forgot about Brian. He has first lunch too.

"Well," I eyed Emily, "You can always sit with us if you don't want to sit with them. I mean Jordan and Brian sit with us all the time." I tell him trying to sound completely nonchalant about things.

"Really, I may take you up on that." He smiled in my direction. He started walking faster in front of us, but then turned around throwing his arms out and saying, "But you never know, they may follow me." He turned around and started walking to Chemistry, it looked like.

Emily and I made our way through the library to the very far right corner where nobody could see us or hear us. This was a good thing because we didn't get 'Shh!'-ed all the time.

I sat down next to Emmy, and laid my purse on the side of me. I felt exhausted so I rested my head against the bookcase behind me. After a good five minutes of us both taking a little rest, I asked her, "Who was that guy you were totally distracted by earlier?"

She looks at me confused, "When earlier?" Oh, what, was there more than one guy? What happened to the little innocent, shy, Emily who didn't need guys, who only needed Brian?

"Before History, earlier."

"Oh, that's just a guy I met at the party and again at the pep-rally, and again today." She shrugged me off. Why was she hiding this?

"Yeah, what guy?" I narrow in on her. Why the hell is she hiding this? Was she embarrassed?

She bit her lip, "Bret..." She looks away from me and pretends to be fascinated with the keychain on her cell phone.

"Bret...?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Bret..." She whispers, "Forman..."

"NO!" I yell-whisper completely shocked. "Not a frat boy, Emily!"

"Well..." She looks uncertain. I can't believe she's falling for a fratty like Bret. I mean just the name Bret...Bret...._Bret_. "I mean, he's really hot. And surprisingly really smart."

What?! What frat/jock is smart? I mean that's just like against all things possible. "Smart? Seriously. How do you know that?" I ask her still in shock from the fact that she's fallen for Bret Forman. _I can't believe she's fallen for Bret Forman!!_

"Yeah, when he was flirting with me earlier, I caught a glimpse of a paper he had on top of his books and it said 98." She said smugly.

"You little liar!" I knew it, "It's the third day of school, no one has handed back any homework back and there haven't been any quizzes or tests!"

She groans and gives up, "Alright! So maybe I lied," She threw arms up like she surrendered, "But, Ash, you gotta support me on this, I mean you're my only friend, and—"

I put my hand up to stop her, "Of course, Emmy. Remember when you wanted to get that pageboy hair cut?" I laughed.

"I'm serious!" Wow, she was acting weird today.

"I know! I'm only teasing you. I don't care who you like, I mean, who you like is, well, who ya like. I can't change that."

"Thanks." she seemed pleased with herself now.

For the rest of our free period we talked about how crazy Julia McSweeny was dressed today and how Seth had that scruffy look today.

With **Vegas Skies** by **The Cab** on repeat.


	7. 6: Hold My Hand

Chapter 6

_Hold My Hand by New Found Glory_

I hate Chemistry.

Not the chemistry you have between two people, the kind of Chemistry that sends your head exploding with confusion. For some reason I'm awesome with all things Math but I'm completely lost with all things science. Every since junior high it's been that way. I don't know what is wrong with my head.

And on top of all that our teacher is a complete weirdo. He gets louder at the end of his sentences. He starts of normal, then...BAM, he's busting your eardrum.

It's Monday night and I just got out of the shower. I'm sprawled out on my bed in my PJ's. I'm nice and comfortable, but then I had to take out my _Chemistry _homework and everything went down hill. If I was one of those people that when they get stressed they pull out there hair, I would be bald right now.

My iHome was blasting and it almost felt like the sound waves coming from the speakers were making the pictures and sunglasses on top of my burro move. Wow, that's powerful.

**Don't Let Me Fall** by **Lenka **was playing. _Maybe if I just take a quick break from my Chemistry..._ I thought evilly, but then my door swung open and Seth was flinging himself on my bed, and on all my open books. Thanks, now tomorrow I'll have to make up an excuse for not having my Chemistry homework and now another excuse for why my books are all wrinkled and folded.

Because Mr. Prady is unlike any other teacher I've had in the homework department. Normally teachers don't chase after you if you don't hand in homework, but Prady here tells you to do that night and stay after school for fifteen minutes _and _makes you write a paper telling him why you didn't do your homework. I'm like, what is this, junior high?

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask him surprised, it was 8:30 and he still had his Starbucks shirt on, maybe he just came from work...?

I wonder if my parents let him in, they wouldn't care anyways. I hope it was Dad, please let it be Dad that let him in. He isn't the one who hovers and is all, "OH! Are you one of Ashlynn's _friends_?" Dad is more laid back and is all, "Oh, yeah, Ashlynn's in her room, you can go right in." Unlike most Dad's, he doesn't care about guys. He already had two boys so what is one more guy hanging around the house?

"Oh yeah, it's nice to see you too!" Seth said chirpily but sarcastically. He sat up realizing that I was eyeing my books with a worried expression.

"You know what I mean." I said closing up my books. Bye bye Chemistry. See you tomorrow. "Did you just come from work?"

Its been two weeks since Seth started sitting at our table, Bret, Cody, and Cody's bimbo girlfriend (_Yeah, they're still together_) followed him. They were like lost puppies or something. They didn't know what else to do but sit with Seth even if it was with a bunch of girls. Seth and I really haven't gone up to another level or anything, but he still flirts with me like every day...So I'm unsure.

Last Thursday he dropped by my house to see me because he was heading home from Jordan's and he saw my light on...and so, you know how that goes. So this isn't the first time he has dropped by unannounced.

I didn't really mind, I was actually happy that he came but I tried to hide it.

"Yeah, the job from hell." He groaned fixing his baseball hat. It was black and had the Providence Bruin's symbol on the front. "You wouldn't believe the people I have to deal with." He sighed and laid back down. I was sitting at the top of my bed holding a pillow that I was first going to take a rest on before he came in. He was lying horizontally across my bed with his knees hanging off the side.

"Aw, why? I love that you work there." I grinned at him because he always got me free coffee whenever I wanted it. I was happy.

He grinned but you could see he was trying to hold it in and rolled his eyes at me like he knew what I was thinking, "I know _you _do, but God, these people are..." He shook it off, like he didn't care anymore. But, hey, I wanted to know.

I pressed him, "C'mon, who?"

"This like 40 year old douche came into the store today," I didn't want to mind his language, "And he ordered a medium iced coffee, then he hands a baby bottle to me and is like 'Can you fill this up with the same thing?'" he sighs angrily.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Of course not, Lila gets completely pissed with the guy and starts a huge scene on how you shouldn't be giving a _baby _coffee and bla blah," He was making a talking face with his hand but he still looked very annoyed. God, that guy was insane. Giving your _baby _coffee? He is a douche. "Anyways, the whole thing got pretty heated and ended with him storming out of the store with 'Well, too damn bad then, you two just lost a sale.' I mean, was he serious? I would rather have your baby not be a coffee addict then gain a sale by you, you know?" He looked at me, talking with his hands.

"Wow, that's awful." _That's all I said? Wow, I must sound like a freak now. _"There's another person who never should've became a parent."

Suddenly I felt the urge to stretch out and close my eyes for a bit. I glance at the clock, it's only 8:47. Why am I so tired?

I stretch out my legs on top of Seth's and rest my head back on the pillows behind me. He didn't seem to care because this is what we did last time he came over. But we were on the floor instead.

"Tell me about it." He adjusted his hat again, like that's his way of releasing tension or something. "Well, enough about me, what have you been doing all day beside getting mad at your chemistry books?" He said looking around my room because when I couldn't find the answer or anything about the problem I had to do I threw my composition towards the window but it didn't break it. Instead it just flopped to the floor like a pancake.

"Let's see," I said pushing my self up so I could see his face. "I helped Jordan practice swimming for his try-out for the swim team on Thursday, and I toke a shower after those 2 _long _hours of practicing, then I made my self a bowl of pasta salad and escaped in here to you know, do nothing."

"Well, it seems like you've had a wonderful day!" He told me sarcastically.

"Well, yeah! The highlight of my day was the whole you coming in and totally interrupting me to my _easy_ Chemistry homework. I mean come on, what come top that?" I tilted my head and threw my arms out like I was weighing different things.

He threw his head back with laughter. No, but really, that was the highlight of my day. What's better than a hot guy on your bed interrupting your homework?

"I don't know..." He pretended to be thinking. He put his pinky to the side of his lips like the guy from Michael Myers. I tried to hold in my laughter. "I really don't know what's better than that...but maybe...this..." I started crawling across the bed towards me.

_Oh my god, he was finally gonna seal the deal, _I thought happily.

It seemed like it toke him at least 15 minutes to get over to me. To bad I didn't have a twin bed, it would've have made this _way _faster.

He leaned in close to me as he put his left hand on the other side of my legs. I was sitting up now I was laying flat on the bed, that would've made a great present scene from sleeping beauty though.

It would be so easy to kiss him right now. Every single organ and part of me wants to. He's still leaning. There is this weird engery between us. It's like everything is so tense but not as in tense as in 'I'm so angry with you I can't believe that I'm even in the same room with you' kind of tense. It's like a 'I can't believe my clothes are still on' kind of tense.

Not that I would ever do that. Of course. I mean, I'm only 15.

Finally he presses his lips to mine gently.

After about like 50 seconds of just pure, healthy, (hah!) making out, we both pull away. He looks and me and I grin. Our faces our still extremely close.

"What song is this?" He asks adjusting away from me on my bed. He yawns widely. It's only 9:30! But why am I judging him? I was yawning crazy at 8:40.

"Um," I listen to the lyrics of the song... "**1901** by **Phoenix**" I start playing with the hem of my comforter. I definitely won't get any of my Chemistry homework done.

"It's good I like it, I think I've heard it a couple of times on 9.55 WBRU, but the problem is with them they never tell you what song it is that's playing unless it's new by like Green Day or Weezer, and personally sucko bands." That was one long sentence.

"Hah, come on, not even 21 Guns?"

"Nope, if you don't appreciate the rest of their songs why like just one?"

"Good point."

I yawn and my eyes start to feel like they are fighting to keep open. Must stay open, must stay awake.

"Hey, so how were my parents with you when you came in?" I ask him trying to keep my mind off sleep.

He 'hmph's', "Ashlynn," He shakes his head with disbelief, "Your parents, well your Dad was the one who let me in" YES! "so, your _Dad_ is unlike any other fathers I've seen."

He got up from the bed and went over to Annie lounging on the blankets I threw down for her a couple of nights ago. I actually fell asleep next to her there last night while I was petting her.

"Your Dad was like, she's in her room doing whatever, I'm sure you can go right in there. And this, this is a direct quote. Are ya with me?" He made it seem so dramatic.

"Okay, 'I'm sure she is not in her underwear or anything, so go ahead!' And then he patted my shoulder."

I burst up laughing and covered my face with my pillow. "That's my coolio Dad for ya!" I admitted after I'd calmed down. "Thank God they're leaving for another business trip tomorrow."

"Yeah," He put his hands behind his head and lied back next to Annie. She was in heaven right now, on her back with her paws in the air.

I moved towards the end of my bed lying on my stomach. I started dreading Chemistry tomorrow. Maybe I could ask one of the girls or guys in that period with me to give me theirs.

"Hey, did you get any Chemistry homework?" I ask him resting my chin on my hand. Maybe Seth had the same homework as me, you never know.

Annie rested her head on top of his crotch. I laughed to myself. _Annie, you pervert. _

"Um, no actually." He thought, "Lucky me! Right."

"Yeah, I however have Chemistry homework. It's like the teacher was punishing me for talking in class or something." I groan, rubbing my eyes. God, I'm so tired! How am I gonna get him out of here and go over to Emily's and explain everything that happened to her. "He hates me already and it's only the second full week of classes."

"Aw, come on now," He sat up when Annie walked over to me telling him she was done with him petting her with a flick of her golden tail. "I'm sure he doesn't hate you!"

"Please! Mr. Prady soo hates me."

"No he doesn't— Wait, Mr. Prady? Oh, yeah. He hates you." He joked.

"Stop it" I tell him hitting his shoulder playfully.

"Ugh, god." Seth groans falling onto the floor again. **White lines and red lights** by **Between the Trees** came on. The other day when he was driving me home from Burger King we were arguing over this song. I was pro for this song, but he was pro for the other song The Way She Feels.

"Haha, too bad. I love this song and you're gonna have to deal with it." I get up and shift over to my iHome radio (whatever the hell it is,) and turn up the volume and start sing along.

"Late night, we're driving home together; and it....red lights; press our lips together..." I make a kissy face towards him as he gives me a disgusted look.

"I hate you!" He says and throws a pillow at me.

"No you don't, you _looovvvveeee_ me. You stay awake at night just thinking about how pretty my face is and how you should make you first move just listening to this song because you know it's my favorite!" I say sarcastically.

"Really?" He gets up from now off the ground and heads towards me, "I was gonna say you had a pretty good voice too, but now, that you just said that..."

"Really?" I say fakely anticipating his response, I knew he was lying. His eyes give him away.

"No." He replies curtly and shakes his head grabbing the pillow from me.

"You're mean!" I say like a little kid and collapse onto the bed clutching another pillow.

"Aw," he sits down next to me, "Ashlynn." He puts his arm around my waist. Suddenly I feel very hot even though I'm only in a blank tank top and rolled up sweat pants.

"Ugh," I groan pulling my face up from behind my pillow, "I hate my name. Like seriously? _Ash_-lynn? Who came up with it? My Dad when he was in his smoking phase? Was he looking at the ashtray and was all Ashley, Ashlynn, and Ash-bla." I made a face.

"Come on, some girls would kill to have the name Ashley." He said trying to comfort me.

"Yeah, slutty ones."

"Well, for all I know, you're not a slut soo..." He seemed uncomfortable. Good.

**Obvious **by **Hey Monday** came on. Good song for this moment. Hah. I hope he listens to the lyrics.

"Why did you even come here?" I ask him curiously.

"I'm glad to see that you're happy that I came!" He joked.

"No, serious."

"I don't know, I was bored. You're house is on the way home."

"Oh yeah, not because you wanted to come over because you had such an awful day and wanted cheering up by yours truly,"

"You know what I mean." He said putting his hand on my knee. I could tell he wanted to leave. I was yawning like crazy because I was in the pool for like 3 hours and he was probably used to there being annoying parents around. But he's forgotten, he's at my house, we're the parents are like. "Yeah, do whatever the hell ya want, what do I care." Ever since the thing with Ian happened they kind of gave Josh and I space, even though Josh was 18 and already had so much space we didn't even know what college he got into until moving day.

"Well, it's 10:30. I'd better be going." He told me getting up and playing with the hem of his Starbucks shirt.

"That late already!" I sounded surprised. "Well, adios!" I said getting up and opening my door.

We walked through the hallway then the kitchen. Annie was right on our tail the whole time. She needed to be let out anyways. My parents were no where to be seen. My mom was probably upstairs in her room TiVo-ed to a fresh Project Runway. Dad's probably off talking to Josh about life somewhere.

Seth was opening the door and walking outside.

"Hey, not so fast there, spunky!" I called after him as I walked through the door and outside. I pointed to my cheek and shifted my head to the left.

After he kissed it I asked him to bring me a coffee tomorrow.

"No promises," He told me.

"Then, I guess I'm just gonna have to drive all the way there and then all the way to school..." I threatened.

"Fine!" He said throwing his hands up in the air.

I smiled proudly and called after Annie because she was trying to follow Seth home. I'm glad I had her approval.

Instead of going back in the house I walked over to Emily's with Annie. I'd already texted her to tell her I was coming. She was going to be out in the front waiting.

Once Annie and I got there she was sitting on the front steps sipping tea. She had pajama bottoms on, a tank top and a zipped open sweatshirt. We didn't say a word to each other all the way up the stairs. We did the occasional 'hi's to her parents and Jordan and stuff but as soon as Annie was fully in the room and the door was closed she broke.

"I can't believe it! What is that, like the fourth time he's come to visit you after work!?" She squealed throwing her self on the floor.

"I know right."

"Okay, start from the beginning and don't leave a detail out!" That was what I was planning to do in the first place.

Annie seemed to be interested in the story I was telling also even though she was there.

"What's dis thingy?" Cole asks me in his cute baby language. Cole is my four year old next door neighbor (sort of,) he leaves on a street adjacent to mine. My Dad is buddies with Manny, Cole's grandfather. Manny's daughter, Ashley is like 23, so instead of sitting around caring for cute little Cole on a Tuesday morning, she leaves him at the house, she still lives with her parents since she got pregnant at 19, and goes off to work. I don't think it's a bad thing going off to work, but if Manny or Paula can't look after him because they're off at their jobs I'm stuck with him. But it's usually not so bad because he's hilarious and he loves me.

Cole is holding up an un-opened tampon, he has these really big wide brown eyes right now, like he can see through the wrapper or something. "Uh," I say ever so dumbly.

Before I can make up another name for the tampon, he seemed to have lost interest in it and throw it back in my purse. He loves looking through my purse and other things I have. One time he went through my closet and start putting scarves and hats on and other stuff.

I was all, "I don't think your Mommy would like it if you start cross dressing!" He just laughed and started singing Just Dance by Lady Gaga. That's another thing about Ashley that I hate, she sits in the back with one of her activist boyfriends and blasts, and I mean _blasts _music. You can hear it from our house. And trust me, it's a pretty long walk, because her street has like ten thousand tiny houses on it and she's the first house on the street, but us, we have really big yards (like acres) and I'm the last house...

I'm glad that Cole is over because I get to play hooky from school today. My parents are on one of their business trips again, so they don't know I'm home instead of being in school. I wonder if Seth is wondering where I am. Maybe Emily told him...

I hear this buzzing noise and look over at Cole, he's got my cell phone and he has it to his ear like he's dialed a number or something.

"Cole!"

He waves me off like he's 20 and it's his own cell phone. "Mommy's got a phone too!" He takes the phone away from his ear and starts pressing the right buttons like he knows what he's doing. Does he?

"Hey," I tell him strictly but still in the nice older sister kind of way, "Give me that."

"Annie!!" Cole screams in my ear and starts clapping his chubby hands. He still has some baby fat even though he is four.

Annie comes right up to him and starts licking his nose because Cole won't ever wipe it, and won't let anybody wipe it either. One time, when he was taking a nap I came like an inch close to his nose with a tissue and he woke up and screamed, "NO!" It was like he can see through his eyelids or something.

That's why I love when Annie comes to greet him; she licks all the sniggles off his face.

During nap time I finally have the concentration to do my chemistry homework, but I don't think it'll be any good for tomorrow since I was out. I had Manny call in to school and say I was sick. His voice is just like my Dad's and he's willing to do stuff like that, so I was grateful.

When Cole wakes up its 2:30 and I've cleaned the house, did my Chemistry, and caught up on some reading for school.

"Ashwynn," Cole asks me so sweetly. That's always the first thing he says when I wake him up. "Can we have chicken nuggets again?" He asks as I pick him up and carry him to the kitchen.

Emily should be getting out of school soon, so she was gonna drop by. I decide to make extra because I'm usually hungry after school, and Emily might like something to chop on as she tells me what happened at school.

I put Cole down on the Island. My family isn't the kid of family that eats around a fancy dinner table. We're more bar stoles kind of people. We used to, until Ian died, then we kind of all went into our own little worlds.

Sometimes I find myself eating next to Annie on her bed. It's pathetic I know, but that's just how I live.

After I put the chicken nuggets in the toaster oven, Cole starts talking to me, he's like a little four year old playa. "Ashwynn, did'cho remember to get the ketchup?" Last time we had chicken nuggets I was out of ketchup, and he was so sad that he couldn't have them with ketchup that we had to go to the little country store about 2 miles away just to get some ketchup. I think he'll hold it against me when he is older. You're the girl who didn't have any ketchup!

"Yes, Cole. I got it." I tell him heading towards the fridge to get it out. He smiles when he sees it. He's so particular about his Ketchup.

"Yay! Do you tink Emmy's comin' over? We could have a chicken nuggets party!" He throws his hands up in the air and smiles big. Little kids are amused with the smallest things.

"Yeah, she's coming over." I explain to him tapping my fingers against the counter waiting for the chicken to be done

"We can have the party ten!" He screams and kicks his legs up and down. _What a great party that would be!_

"Yeah! We could!" I say playing along. When the chicken was down I spread it out onto a plate for Cole, and keep the rest on the pan for Emily and me later.

"Yum!" Cole exclaims as I place the plate in front of him. He takes one and dips it in the ketchup and shoves the whole thing into his mouth.

"You've got a big mouth kid—" I was interrupted by Cole singing, "Emiwie!!"

Cole was still screaming when I turned around to see Emily coming towards him and Jordan and Seth coming in too. This is a nice surprise.

"Hey, Colie!" She squealed and picked him up to give him a hug. He had a mouthful of chicken nuggets but still screamed, "Emiwie, Emiwie!"

"Hey," I say casually, as Emily smiles at me after she put Cole on the island. He looks confused.

"What are you guys—" Cole cut me off again. What is that, like the 50th time today?

"Who are these guys?"

"Oh, this is my brother Jordan, and our friend Seth." Emily covered for me. Jordan and Seth were kind of just hovering near the door. Maybe they're were just stopping bye. I hope they stayed.

"Oh," Cole said and seemed to be uninterested. He grabbed another chicken nugget. Cole only likes the ladies.

"Well, why the spontaneous drop by?" I ask them sitting next to Cole on the island counter.

"Oh, you know. Since Jordan got his car taken away from him from being stupid, we needed a ride home, and Seth offered and I wanted to see my little friend Colie here." Emily says to me nudging Cole. He smiles happily as he chops on another chicken nugget. God, he loves those things.

"Oh, well aren't I special." I state smugly.

"Come on, you know what I mean." She says quickly stealing one of Cole's chicken nuggets before he notices. She turns to Jordan and Seth, "You guys are awfully quiet. Does Annie have a gun to you guys or something?"

Seth laughs then looks at me, "Of course not, Annie's loves me too much to do that."

I snort. "Annie woves _me _not you!" Cole yells excitedly. He points to himself and does a _ha-ha _face when Annie comes jumping on the island when she hears her name being said.

"Oh, really?" Seth asks coming closer to Cole.

"Ya, reawie." Cole states snarkily. He reached over for another chicken nugget but then realized there weren't anymore. He frowned. I don't think this kid is four, I think he is one of those experiments the government is pulling on us. "Ashwynn, when's Mommy comin'?" Cole asked my standing up on the island counter, I noticed that his shoes were untied but Emily went ahead and did it for me. She must've figured that I've dealt enough with him all day.

"Actually, she's probably at your house already," I tell him jumping off the counter. "I should probably go and drop you off." I eye Jordan and Seth; I really don't want to make them leave.

"Uh, well we actually came over to see if you wanted to go over to Brian's because he invited us to come over and use his pool." Jordan explains to me.

"Of course she wants to go, just go over now and me and Ash will drop little Colie off and meet you down there." Emily covered for me again. Okay something's not wrong here. I haven't got to say a word to _anyone_. And nobody has said a word to me either. Something's up. Or nothings up and Emily just replies faster than I do.

"Alrighty then. We'll see you guys later...I guess." Jordan says and starts opening up the door.

"Bye and please don't drive..._walk._" Seth waves and touches my arm before he leaves.

After they leave I turn to Emily, "What the hell was that?" I ask her. I didn't really care that I said that infront of Cole because he is completely fascinated with Emily's scarf/belt.

"I honestly don't know. _But_," She says smiling, "You should have seen his face when he realized you weren't in school today, He came into class all looking around for you then his face totally dropped. It was like watching a really cute sad puppy."

"Stop it," I wave her off, but I still smile to myself. "How was everybody at lunch?"

She picks up Cole and starts getting his bag hanging off the corner of one of the bar stools. "I don't know I was mostly just annoyed by Brian and him blabbing to me about what his mom did last night. Cody was swooning with his girlfriend, _blah_, and Jordan was quiet, solemn, like he just heard Gran died or something." She got over Brian quickly.

"And...?" I know she was holding back on me, but why?

"Seth was... I don't know. Like at first he seemed like he was bored because he didn't have anyone to argue with about some stupid song or movie but then him and Bret started talking about some college team of something sucked so bad and blah blah blah. Seth didn't seem to be interested. He doesn't seem the like sporty type."

She handed me Cole's bag and we started to get things like bathing suites and other things.


	8. 7: Angel

Chapter 7

_Angel by Jack Johnson_

We were in Brian's above ground pool. Turns out the invitation to go over to Brian's was sent out to everyone. And I mean, _everyone_. It seemed like the whole school was at his house. But it wasn't, because Brian's parents were home upstairs hiding in their room.

Brian's yard wasn't big enough for a party like this. And I mean, its Tuesday, why are we having a party today. It's September 15. Who wants to go in the pool when its 68 degrees? Well, I can answer that question for ya. No one, because the only people in the pool are Emily and I. Even we are just sticking our feet in, sitting on the side of the pool.

Emily's house always has moths outside of it. Even when it isn't night time. You hear about moths how they are attracted to light and everything, not these moths, they are attracted to shade. It's freaky.

"Moth's are like the loser butterflies who never could get laid even if the taped a hundred dollar bill to..." That quote is so going on my twitter.

"I get it." I interrupted her rant. She's been at it for an hour now. It's getting sickening. "Hey," I say changing the subject, "Do what do you think Mr. Prady will grade me for my homework?"

She looks at me shocked, "You did it?"

"Well, yeah. Mr. Prady already hates me soo, I had to."

"Jesus, I only got through a couple of questions." She explains to me acting exhausted just thinking about it.

"Hey, how is it?" A voice asked behind us. We turned around and saw a petite girl walking towards us. She these giant sunglasses us that were way too big for her face, but she seemed to like them.

"Uh, it's freezing." Emily tells her.

"Oh," She sounds disappointed. "I was hoping to go in; I brought my bathing suite and everything."

"Hun, its 68 degrees, I don't think anybody's going in today." I shake my head at her.

She takes her flip-flops off and pushes her self up to sit next to us on the side of the pool. Once she gets up, she holds her hand out to us and says, "Marleen."

"Emily,"

"Ashlynn,"

"Wow," She says looking taken back, "Your names really match your faces."

"Um, is that a good thing?" I laugh. This Marleen chick is really straight forward.

"Of course!" She laughs a little too loudly. "Wow, this water is really cold. Thanks for the warning, guys."

"You're welcome." I reply; Syndicate by The Fray comes on through someone's radio.

Marleen groans, "You'd think they'd play better music at a party but no, it's all sappy crap from someone's un-music-educated iPod." She complains.

"Well, I wanna go get something to drink, you want anything?" I motion towards them. They shake there heads at me, and I push myself off the edge. I land clumsily, but start walking towards the house.

I saw Lauren and Jamie on my way and I smiled and waved at them. They were whispering to each other like they were bored out of their minds here and wanted to go. They aren't the casual pool-that-no-one-goes-in party.

"Heads up!" Someone said infront of me. I turned my head towards where the warning came from and saw a can of soda flying my way. I caught it easily, and looked up to see Seth holding another.

"Hello stranger." I say, and walk towards him.

Before he says anything else, he's smiles and mumbles 'hi' to some guy. Quite the popular fellow.

"Come on, you saw me like an hour ago." He protests waving his hands around. He's holding another soda can for himself.

"Oh yeah, what a visit that was, you don't say hi, you're just like, 'bye, don't drive here...'" I say sitting on the grass.

The thing with Brian's yard is that it's not big enough for a party like this and it doesn't have a deck or any chairs. So either you are left standing or you sit on the grass.

He rolled his eyes and sat next to me opening his soda can.

"Sorry, I'm just not cool enough to skip school like you did. You little slacker!" He said poking my stomach.

"Yeah, I'm incredibly cool, because while I was skipping school I was at home babysitting a four year old." I laugh, "Just admit that you missed me in school today." I say now poking him in the stomach.

"Never!" He yells almost spilling his Coke.

Now it's my turn to roll my eyes.

"Hey, do you know why it's so cold today?" Seth asks me, moving his arm so he can rest back on it.

"I don't know why. I'm not a weatherwoman."

"Ohhh, why aren't we snarky today." He smirks at me.

After a while of us just sipping our soda I hear my phone vibrate in my jeans. I pull it out not noticing that Seth has kind of positioned himself to see what the screen said.

It was from Josh. It read, 'Hey just wanted to know how you were doing. Ians annual bike run thing is coming up,' Like I didn't know. Give me a break, J-man. 'so ill be down in around oh I dont know three...' He ran out of his 140 characters. I waited until my phone buzzed again.

"Secret admirer?" Seth asks raising an eyebrow at me and smirking.

"No, but it is my brother Josh. He wanted nothing to do with me for as long as I could remember, and all of a sudden he starts showing up again." I explain to him sighing, my phone buzzing again.

"Yeah brother's can be tough," Seth replies as I read the last of Jamie's message.

'In about three weeks. Keep me updated on the planning & location. Alright love ya sis." What a card. I'd already had enough with his stuff, I think I'm gonna crack soon. A volcano ready to explode.

"Hey, don't you think it's kind of ironic to have a pool party in 50 degree weather?" I ask him changing the subject.

He smiles at me but is looking somewhere else, "Not Brian's fault for the sudden change in weather."

"Uh, well it's not like he planed this weeks in advance." I object, lying down on the ground. I really don't care that my hair is getting all grassy because I have to take a shower tonight anyhow.

"Well," Seth looks at me and takes another sip of his soda. "That's Brian for ya."

My phone buzzes again, and I make a face at it.

"Your brother again?" Seth asks me. I open it to find out and there was a text from Jordan.

"Why would he...? He's here?" I babble to myself. I could feel Seth looking at me confused.

I read the text and start laughing, "Jordan just sent me a text quote, it says, 'Those monkey thumbs were meant for dogs, _Give me my thumbs, you fucking monkeys_!' That's hilarious."

Seth chuckles a little. "Where is that from, do you know?" He asks looking around the yard for Jordan.

"I don't know but I'm gonna go find out." I tell him getting up from the ground. I spot Jordan near the door with Brian. He has his phone in his hand.

Brian was looking a little agitated with himself. I walk over there with a confused look on my face as to why. When they see me approaching Brian changes his expression to "happy to see you" and smiles at me. Guys are so weird.

"Brian?" I ask raising an eyebrow. He holds up his drink to take a sip, but then stops mid-way from the tone of my voice. "What's the matter? You looked so angry before. Did someone break one of your lawn chairs because that would be hilarious?" I could here Jordan chuckling to himself in the background.

"Oh, no." He finally takes that drink, "It's just—"

Brian cut him off, I guess he was trying to "save him" or something. What did they hear? "No ones going in the pool and he's kind of ticked off." Jordan shrugs.

I play along because I don't want them to know I'm suspicious. Well. Actually I do...but... "Brian! It's like 50 degrees out and your pool is probably 40! I don't think you really should have a pool party in this kind of weather."

He just shrugged as a reply. He looked up at the sky and kept drinking. I heard someone scream, "Oh shit! It looks like it gonna rain!" I looked behind me and noticed it was Bret that screamed. Typical.

Jordan and Brian sighed in unison. I decided to get my phone and finally find out what that random text was about.

"Why did you send me that quote?" I show him the text and he laughs.

"Oh, you were looking a little frustrated with something over there" He motioned towards where Seth and I were sitting on the lawn. "And I thought it might lighten the mood or something." He had a smug look on his face. Brian wandered off because he didn't want to hear our boring conversation.

"My brother called." I state putting my phone away. Jordan was probably the only one I could rant to right now. Emily is off with Bret laughing her fake laugh. Seth doesn't know a thing about Ian yet soo...

Jordan made an 'opps' face. "What did it say?"

I groan, even though I want to scream about it to him I know I can't. Because I don't want to look like a psycho path at a party. But...what the hell.

"He's all 'Oh. Ian's thing is coming up and I'll be there in say, oh three weeks or so...' Like I didn't know that Ian's bike run was coming up?" I can feel my cheeks burning up, my voice getting louder, and my eyes getting wetter. Jordan put and hand around my waist and pulls me towards the house. I heard him say 'come on.'

"He's such a jackass. I think I would freaking kill him if he was here." Jordan was trying to make me feel better as I was letting him lead me past everyone towards the backdoor. We walked passed Seth and he had a confused and concerned look on his face.

I laugh at Jordan's words though, but they come out in a crying type laughter.

"Jesus, you could fucking move! Wow, you're at a party and there's sophomore drama. Big whoop. Fucking move!" Jordan was screaming at these freshmen who were starring at us and blocking the door. They all looked hurt from Jordan's words but he didn't seem to care.

As I was stepping inside I heard Marleen scream, "Could someone change this awful music!" She burst too.

Brian's backdoor lead to his basement. It was cold and you could tell it hadn't been cleaned in years. This must've been the refreshment room or something, because there was a fridge and tons of boxes of cans or soda or empty bottles of beer. There was a ratty old couch that I was now sitting on. It had holes and stuffing all over it. I wondered if Annie came here one night and tore it apart or something because it looked like it had fought in a war.

"I'm telling ya, if I see those freshmen looking in the window I'm gonna kill them too!" Jordan yelled plopping himself on the couch next to me. He was doing that thing older brothers try to do when their girlfriend or sister is crying. _Most _older brothers anyways.

I laugh, "I think they'll be too scared to even look at us at school tomorrow."

"Or ever." He shifts in his seat uncomfortably. "When is Josh coming anyway, so I can plan my attack?"

"In _about _three weeks he said, but who knows. Last year he didn't even show up." That hurt me enough, but my parents looked at it as a way he was dealing with the death of his older brother.

"If he doesn't show up, we're going to take a road trip to his college and..." He seemed to have blanked.

Emily came bursting through the basement door. There was no one behind her luckily. I didn't want Seth coming in here seeing though I didn't tell her about it.

She was sitting right on the arm chair and had a angry look on her face. She must've heard from someone. Great, it was probably already around the whole party. "What the hell did that idiot say now?"

"Um, Jordan can tell you because I really don't feel like being here at this party anymore." I got up and wiped my face. I turned back to them and saw a concerned look on Jord's face and a worried look on Emily's.

"Where are you going to go?" Emily asked standing up too.

"Do you want us to come?" Jordan questioned.

"No, well, I might just be at the beach. _Alone_ though." I gave them the idea. If there was an emergency they'd know where to find me.

They seemed to get that I needed my space. "You better take the back way out of here." Jordan told me starching on the couch. They were trying to play it cool.

"Do you have everything?"

I was in seventh grade when the accident happened. It was my friend Rebecca's birthday that day, and Emily, a couple of other friends, and I went home with her for a party. We were going to her house for caramel apples and fall type things like tat. We were going to decorate our own pumpkin. I know it sounds childish for a 13 year old to be doing but it was actually a lot of fun. Until my Dad showed up early.

It was October 6th. My Mom and Dad had gotten calls from the police and some of Ian's friend. That whole week seemed like a blur to me. Josh was still in high school, his senior year I believe. Either of us went to school that week.

Monday night was quiet. The diner table everyone just ate. We had cereal for supper that night. Usually this made me happy but that night I was too shocked to even notice.

Tuesday was filled with tears. It's like it hit everyone that Ian died on Tuesday instead of Monday. My Nana came over and stayed with us that day. She's the only grandparent figure we've got.

Wednesday was filled with funeral arrangements. Josh and I mostly sat around pretending to be watching the TV. Josh usually push that whole teenager, 'I don't give a shit' but he really looked up to Ian and once he found out, it was like he got smacked in the face that his older brother was gone.

Thursday was the wake where I had to stand there and try to act okay and shake peoples hands and here them say, "I'm so sorry!" or "It's going to be alright, Ashlynn." or "I can't believe you missed the finally of the Real World!" –That one was from Emily trying to bring up my mood by yelling at me about something stupid. But surprisingly it helped. And she knew it would.

Ian was just in the right place at the wrong time. It was a late Sunday night, lets say around 12 or 1 and Ian was out in providence visiting his friend or something. Where his friend lives it's parking where you can get fined if you park on the street and the house where his friend lived shared a driveway with the next house over. So instead of getting a ticket he parked in some mini-mart and walked a couple blocks to the house. It was that apartment building kind of part of Providence and there were a lot of gangs.

He was only a block away from the house turning up to go onto another street when he heard some guys fighting. He quickly stopped to hear what they were fighting about. The cops said one of them was a drug dealer and the other was one of the dealers clients and the client wasn't getting what he wanted. The client had a gun and had it aimed towards the dealer. Once Ian realized this he quickly tried to break it up. But since the client was apparently psycho – well why wouldn't he be? – he shot Ian a bunch of times just to shut him up.

And that is how my young 25 year old brother died.

Rainbow Veins by Owl City. It was playing in my ear. This song never failed to make me stop crying. I had my arms held tightly around my knees in the sand near the dunes around the old lifeguard chair. When I got here the sun had already set. It was dark but I had my phone to light up around me, as well as my iPod.

Jordan had texted me a couple times concernedly. He told me that nobody at the party was saying a word about me and that someone had finally gone in the pool. He said it was some crazy chick named Marleen. That made laugh.

My cousin Owen from Colorado texted me too. He was wondering how I was doing and everything. I haven't seen him since he moved there. Even though I found him so obnoxious when I was younger I missed him. He always would make me laugh with his impressions and his funny voice when he was making fun of the Japanese.

It was too early for the moon to be out, and I was considering to stay the night here. Not a good idea. Well, I don't have a ride home. So I'd have to wait for the buss anyways. Unless one of the guys at the gate that always ask for number could give me a ride home.

After about 4 times of Rainbow Veins repeating I come to a conclusion. Ride home from one of the Beach Boys. I get up and start heading towards which I think is the way to the bathhouses. Its about a mile but I'll make it in time. And if I didn't I'm sure they'd come looking for me seeing that I came in with puffy red eyes.

The older one was all, "Oh, are you okay? I hope it's got nothing to do with that high school. I hated those days. Didn't you Steve?" I just said it was nothing and ignored them. They let me walk away and I could here the older one saying, "Dammit, I could have comforted her and did that whole '_I'm your shoulder to cry on_' shit!"

The waves crashing on the shore looked so cold and dark. At night the water looked different. It's not all warm and inviting. Its more like, 'get the heck off the beach already!' And I was obeying it too.

I'd walked about a quarter of a mile and it was getting dark. I was debating whether or not I should start running. But I did have skinny jeans on and lets just say they're really tight. Not the best for any kind of movement other than standing, sitting, and walking.

My stomach started growling at me with anger. First thing to do once I get home is eat. Or I betcha I can get one of the Beach Boys to get me something. I know they've been dying too. But it would kind of be, wait. It wouldn't be kind of, it _would _be mean leading them on, thinking they have a chance when they don't. But, my stomach is really hungry—

A dog had approached me like I was the stick someone threw. It was a dark big dog, bigger than Annie. I hadn't seen or heard it coming towards me. It seemed friendly since it was practically eating my hand. I kneeled down next to it and it had a smell I've smelled before. And not the 'I'm a dog and this is what I smell like' kind of smell, like the smell of a person's scarf or sweater or something. _Their _smell.

"Where did you come from buddy?" I asked the dog and it proceeded to lick my face. That didn't really answer me bud.

It was too dark to figure out what kind of breed it was but it was a shaggy dog. I love shaggy dogs, they are so cute. It must be a mix.

"Toast!" Someone was screaming infront of me. But it was too dark to see and they didn't have a flashlight either. Either that's the name of the dog or they really want some toast.

"You son of a bitch dog. If you don't get back here—" The guy seemed to realize that there was someone petting his strangely named dog. _I feel bad for you, toast._

The guy kept approaching me without saying a word until he was like right in my face. Well about 3 feet away. I was exaggerating.

"Ashlynn?" Now that he said my name I knew who it was. Seth. I mean who else would it be? I laughed in my head to this thought, Who else would be walking the beach at 9:30 with their dog Toast.

"Your dog's name is stupid." I tell him. I really didn't want to get into the whole what happened, 'why did you take off' thing.

Instead of defending his dogs name he just laughs. Not haahhh-that-was-funny laughing, like throwing-your-head-back cannot-stop-laughing laugh. Toast jumps up on him with excitement.

"He's not my dog; I was dog sitting for my hippie neighbors." The real Seth finally comes back around.

"I'm jealous you have hippie neighbors. All I've got is Emily and Kenny the motor cycler." I pouted and started walking towards him.

"Don't tell me you've ridden on it, please, don't tell me..." He said as Toasty was licking his wet leg. I'm guessing he was walking in the water.

"I haven't, so stop worrying grandpa."

Even though it was pitch black, we were so close I could see him roll his eyes. "So, thanks for ditching me at the party. I'm _that _boring." He said sarcastically as he shot me a smile.

I could tell he knew I didn't wanna talk about what happened.

We started walking. Toast went running out in front of us. The breeze had picked up a lot since I'd gotten here. I only had a short sleeve shirt on and I was freezing. Seth didn't seem to be in his South Beach sweatshirt. _Why hadn't I brought a sweatshirt? _I thought.

"Because," I stretched that word out giving me more time to make something up, "I really wanted Jordan to yell at this group of freshman so I pretended to have a mental breakdown so he could."

I shrugged. "Hey, did you take your car here?" Yes! I don't have to ride home with the Beach Boys after all! and I much rather eat something with Seth than with those tools.

"Um, no I walked." He said frowning.

"Oh really," I replied smirking at him when I ran to his car in the parking lot.

When he caught up to me, he looked at the car in shock. "How'd this get here?"

I laughed and got in anyways. Toast was over near Patty, the beach boy's mom/owner of the C.K. Beach Club. Seth called after Toast a couple times looking like an idiot. Patty didn't seem to be pleased that the dog was harassing her. But Beach Boy Number 2 was. He was talking to it in the annoying high pitched voice saying, "You're so cute, yes you are..."

"Hey," I called over to Seth who looked so aggravated with beach boy number 2. He turned to me, "I'll go get him, that guy over there loves me." I tell him.

A flash of jealousy cross his face for a second, "No, it's okay. I'll go. You're in the car."

Even though he said he was going to get Toasty, he didn't He stood there cursing at the dog not loud enough for Beach Boy Number 2 or Patty to hear. I looked around in the back of his Wrangler for food or something that would get Toast's attention. I found a rawhide bone underneath one of the seats and got out of the car with it in my hand. I walked half way between Seth and Toast.

"Hey, Toasty! Look what I got!" The dogs head cocked to the side then practically knocked Beach Boy Number 2 over. He came rushing towards me and took the bone from my hand.

Toast lied down in front of me and started playing with the bone.

Seth came over and opened the door to the truck and tapped the floor of it telling Toast to get in. The dog jumped right in and lied down again.

Seth closed it and then turned to me.

"Well..." I smiled, "what's my prize?" I ask him

"What prize?" He raised one of his eyebrows.

"The prize for getting Toast here in the car and away from Beach Boy Number 2."

"Oh, well, if you did _that_ then I guess you do get a prize." He said grabbing his keys from his pocket and turning to go to the drivers side. I go the opposite way. Once we're in the car and all buckled up I asked him again.

"Let's see, you can put whatever you want on." Let's see, to the stranger this would seem small but to a friend or I don't know girlfriend (I'm not sure what to call myself since we've only kissed once...) it's big. He never lets you touch the radio stereo or his iPod. If I did I think he would actually hit my hand or something.

"Whatever I want." I echoed. "Soo...you wouldn't mind if I put in _my_ iPod and played _my _songs." I was teasing him now and I think he knew what song I was going to put on first.

"Oh god, don't put on White Lines and Red Lights. You have to wait when we get into the city part of Westport so we can put it on when there is an actual _red light_."

I pout, "Fine." I put on Sweet and Low by Augustana instead. He seemed pleased.

My stomach doesn't really feel _that _hungry anymore and I really don't think it will take fast food seeing that it's 10. But I really didn't want to go straight home seeing that I would be alone. I really didn't want to be alone tonight. Even if some pervert old guy was in my house, I would be happy because I wouldn't be alone.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask him; maybe I can get him to take me to his house.

"Uh, I don't know. I thought you wanted to go home?" He said with uncertainty in his voice.

I groaned and hid my face between my knees. "Home is boring and lonely. Do you know any old perverts?" I ask him referring to my thoughts earlier. I look at him and his face is a cross between confusion and laughter because I guess the question I asked was just that funny.

"I'm not letting you walk into your house with an old pervert there."

"Such a gentlemen."

"Well," He says, "I try."

Seth reached over to my iPod plugged into the carjack thingy ma bob and changed the song Honey by the Hush Sound.

"Excuse me," I reached toward the iPod he was holding. "I'm in control, remember?"

"Hate to break it to ya, but that song _sucks_." He shrugged and toke his hand away from my iPod.

"Yeah, you're right." It's a really long drive from Westport back to Pawtucket. We're probably gonna get home around quarter to 11. I wonder what his parents will say.

"So are you gonna be all boring and come to school tomorrow?" Seth asks me smiling but his eyes are on the road. I heard Toasty in the background destroying her bone.

"Uh," I reply, rather dumbly if you ask me, "My parents are coming back Thursday so if they found out I skipped both days they were gone they might never leave again."

"Yeah," He was merging onto the highway, much faster than the backroads I would've taken. "I don't think I could take two days in a row of Bret and his basketball tirades."

I laughed because that's what Emily told me earlier today, glad to see she wasn't lying, or _he _wasn't.

We were practically half way to Pawtucket. The highway wasn't busy tonight seeing that it's a Tuesday. But when we did reach a car it was either teenagers and 20 year olds or senior citizens. Those old fogies sure know how to party it up.

Right now there seemed to be no one around us. There was one car behind us, but that was behind us so we couldn't really see who was driving.

"Oh, dude," Seth muttered to himself looking back in the review mirror.

"What?" I ask confused twisting my body so I could look through the back window. But all I saw was Toast sitting up and breathing heavily. I see he happily finished his bone. God, I'm hungry.

"These idiots behind us are right on my butt." He kept looking in the review mirror he said this. That's stupid of them. Don't they know there are two other lanes they can go into.

"Just go into the other lane so they can pass us." Duh.

He followed my instructions but they leveled with us so they could see right in the car. They were two guys. Both of them looked to be about Seth's age, maybe older.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." Seth said as he saw who was in the car.

"What? Do you know those losers?" My window was open halfway, and the other car's was too. When they heard what I said they were all, "Hey!"

"Yeah, that's my moron cousin and I'm thinking one of his friends. They're seniors at some private high school." As he was saying this his cell phone buzzed from his front pocket. "Uh, can you get that for me? It's probably him." He told me motioning towards the other car.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached over for his pocket. I quickly grabbed the phone and sat back in my seat. I saw Seth blushing. Hah.

I read the text and it said it was from his cousin I'm guessing named Christopher, 'whos the hottie?' the text read. I was pretty sure Christopher was referring to me. I started laughing to myself because I was considered a 'hottie.'

"What? Did he say something about me?" Seth asked anxiously.

"Please, he said, 'who's the hottie?' You must think very highly of yourself if your _cousin _was asking _me _if _you _were the hottie." I teased; Christopher's car was way ahead of ours now.

"You can reply." Seth told me glancing down at his phone.

"What should I say?" I asked him looking out the window. The streetlight for the highway were lit brightly. We were approaching the exit we had to take to get to little ol' Pawtucket.

"I don't know. Use your imagination." As he said this his phone buzzed again.

"What does it say now?" Seth asked me as I opened up another text from Chris.

"Um, 'tell her that I have a better chance at banging her than you do. HAHA.' Okay then." I looked at Seth and raised an eyebrow. "Neither of you do, sorry." Seth didn't seem to care he doesn't seem like that kind of guy. Well at least in front of me he doesn't.

"Hmm," Seth was thinking now tapping on the steering wheel. "He has no life at all, so make up some lie and say you're my....I don't know...ex-girlfriend, perhaps."

I typed in what he said and a second later Chris replied. "It says, 'oh man, that's fresh.'" Weirdo. Some guys are just...ugh.

"What a loser. Um hey, we've got my house, your house, or Emily's house. Which would it be?"

"Emily has her cousin over, and personally that girl is a snob. So cross that off the list. My house..." I made a face, "Unless you're going to stay with me for awhile. OHH!" An idea popped into my head.

"What?" Seth looked puzzled as he was driving around aimlessly.

"I'll text Jordan. He'll stay." I already got my phone out and was texting away.

"Um, you sure? Because I could always call my mom..." He was jealous of Jordan. Doesn't he know that Jordan is like my older brother? "Won't your parents get mad if Jordan stays over?"

"Oh, and they won't get mad that _you _would spend the night. Jordan's like the 3rd son they never had." I explain to him as he pulling onto my street.

"True," He looked disappointed. Crap, I made him sad. I'm evil.

"But, Jordan will probably take forever to actually get to my house even though it's like 300 feet away...So you can stay with me until he does."

"Alright," He pulled into my driveway. I still could hear Toast in the background breathing heavily. "Annie must miss me."

"You wish. Toast can have a girlfriend now though."

"We should be matchmakers, I mean hippie shaggy dog and a pampered pooch. Whoa."

He laughed and toke the keys out of the ignition. Before getting out he toke his cell phone out of my lap and I grabbed mine. Toast was now standing up wagging his tail.

Toast was the first to get in the house. Annie was wagging her tail like crazy to see that I've come home. On the island there was a note from Kenny that said he fed Annie. I was grateful and reminded myself to get him a little present for just being there.

Toast and Annie were doing that butt sniffing thing to each other. Annie seemed to like Toast because she had a ball in her mouth ready to play.

I walked through the kitchen towards the dinning room. On top of the china cabinet we had bags of popcorn, chips, pretzels, all that good stuff. It was too high up for me to reach so I took one of the chairs from the dinning table and pushed it over.

Seth followed me in there and was watching me shaking his head. "I'll get it, your gonna kill yourself."

"Aw, a guy who watches for my safety. So sweet." I put a hand over my chest. He just rolled his eyes and asked what I wanted.

"Um, a Barbie, ice skates, um....a puppy." He ignored me and got the popcorn which was actually what I wanted all along. Mind reader. Don't become Edward Cullen on me Seth, because I don't want to see that.

"I thought you already had ice skates?" Seth asked me opening up the bag. It was Kettle Popcorn from Popcorn, Indiana. Yes, that's a real town.

"Not for Annie." I tell him like he should've known.

"Why do I ask?" He talks to Toast who is begging for some popcorn. "Well, do you want the popcorn?" He asks me.

"Uh," I look at the bag he's already opened, I shake my head,

"Than what do you want?" He sounds annoyed.

"You," I look at him and take a step closer so my chest is up against his. I can feel him look down at my lips.

He leans in and I kiss him.

Later, my cell phone buzzes and says that Jordan can't come over because of his cousin.


	9. 8: Dancing Shoes

Chapter 8

_Dancing Shoes by Gavin Degraw_

"Hannah Montana Movie _four _times." Emily squealed, her and Jordan were fighting over how many stupid kid movies their cousin was making them watch. "Top that."

"High School Musical 1, 2, and 3." Jordan was moving his fork around as he talked, I had a chicken salad today and he wanted some chicken.

Emily made a 'please, that's nothing' face to him. "And we watched all those movies 3 times, so that's 3 x 3 which equals nine. I win!" Jordan smirked back at her.

"Fine, at least you didn't have to French braid her hair during the third run." She crossed her arms and sunk in her chair. The table we were sitting at could seat 8. I was at the seat next to last and that seat was being taken by frat boy Bret. Emily was opposite me, and Lauren was sitting on the side of her.

"Well, atleast you could focus on her hair and go really slow with it instead of watching the movie. So get over it little girl, I win!" Jordan gloated.

Our table was full. Jordan was on the left side of me eating the chicken from my salad I haven't even touched. He was too stupid not to bring a lunch or money to buy one. Seth was opposite from him and Cody and his bimbo girlfriend were chatting about some lacrosse team she's auditioning for. Is it even lacrosse season?

I rubbed my eyes and yawned. I was _soo_ tired. And I went to bed at 7 last night. So it's not like I'm tried from some rocking party or anything. I mean, today's Friday. I'm supposed to be so happy because of the whole T.G.I.F. thing. Well I say suck it Friday.

"Dude, you got to stop yawning." Jordan complained.

He was very chatty today. I think I'm getting a headache from him blabbing in my ear. Why did he have to sit next to me?

"Whoa, are you hung over? That would be awesome." I hear Frat Boy go, 'hell yeah!' and I hear them slap hands in back of me.

I open my eyes and glare at Jordan. "No, I'm not hung over dumbass." I look down at my salad; it seems like everyone is looking at me, "I'm just tired."

I catch a glance from Emily and she knows why I'm so tired. You know, girl stuff. ;)

"Well, do I have to go get you coffee or something for you to wake up?" Jordan offers. I shake my head at him. He has my fork in his hand reaching down to get another piece of chicken. There is only two left. Now there is only one since Jordan just shoved (a big) one in his mouth.

Jordan reached his fork for the last piece of chicken in my salad. "Hey, if you take that last piece I'm gonna throw my mini stapler at your head."

Jordan quietly put his fork down. Emily and Seth babbled, "Cool!" at the same time. I ignored them.

"Where's Brian?" Frat boy asked. Everyone seemed to have lost interest in me being sleepy. Seth was still looking at me though. I could feel it.

Frat Boy was chomping on his chips and it sounded like his crunches were right it my ear. What does Emily see in this guy besides the fact that he's hot?

"Um, he's hanging out with one of the seniors or something."

"Lucky bastard." He muttered.

Lauren looked disgusted with him, "Uh, language?"

Bret looked at her chewing with his mouth open, "Sorry, 'lucky piece of shit.'" He stopped chewing at her and gave her the smile that said, "Better?" sarcastically.

Lauren rolled her eyes and sighed. Then she got up to throw her trash away.

"Ashlynn!!" I heard Jamie call from behind me. I could tell from her voice that she was running and trying to catch her breath.

"Calm down, breathe..." Emily told her as soon as she got to our table.

"I've got the...cd....you want-ed." she handed me the Academy Is cd. I thanked her and she took Lauren's spot.

"Whoa." Emily said taking the cd case from me. Behind where the cd was placed there was a picture of the members of the band. Emily handed the cd to Jamie. She held up the cd case to Seth face to compare to I'm guessing William Beckett's face to his.

"Seth do you know how much you look like Will!!" She squealed opening the back of the case to take the picture out. He toke the picture and raised it to the light.

"I do _not _look like him...well..."

"You do. Yes, you do." Emily argued with him. She wasn't giving up. I'm agreeing with her on this one though. He looks like he could be Will's younger brother.

"Ash?" Seth wanted my opinion. He looked at the picture, disappointed.

"Sorry Seth, but Emily's right." I shrugged and toke a bite of my salad. Bland salad since I have no _chicken _left, thanks Jord.

"Maybe we could post this on one of those crazy fan blogs, with a picture of Seth in that same pose..."

Seth looked at her like she had three heads, "Sorry hun, Emily's lost it." I gave him an apologetic smile.

Everyone was mostly quiet after Emily's tantrum of excitement. I compromised with Jordan and let him have half of my salad. He was happy and ate it in what seemed like 2 minutes. Bret kept asking Emily what she was doing tonight. She told him she was going bowling with me, Lauren, Jamie, and Marleen. I won't be surprised if he shows up.

Once the bell rang, we all started gathering up our things. Emily was the first to go.

"Bye, Will!" She said to Seth, he just chuckled.

Seth and I walked out together, his locker was practically on the other side of school but he didn't mind. And plus he puts his books in my locker a lot anyway. So does everybody it seems.

"I'm working tonight." Seth states as we were walking.

"Noted." I say confused. I don't really care when you're working, okay Seth? Unless he brings me my special. God, I hate my period. It makes me crabby. _Sorry Seth (if your in my head and can hear my thoughts like Edward Cullen!)_

We were at my locker now; it was kind of getting over flowed with books. When I opened it I toke some of his books out and handed them to him. But as I did this some of my books fell onto the floor.

"Shit," I muttered. I kneeled down and started reaching over. As I did this I could feet the back of my shirt riding up. It was one of Ian's old ones. Whenever I couldn't find anything to wear or if it was laundry day I would wear one of his T's. No one ever notices, except that the shirts mostly always come down to my knees. But not this one...

Seth eyes were instantly directed like it was instinct. "Here." I said handing him the books that I gathered.

He took them gratefully, and helped me up so I could stand. But the problem was I couldn't. As soon as he pulled me up and let go of my arm and hand, I fell. Into him.

I was so tired. How can you blame me? I mean, my leg kind of got cramped up and just gave in...Maybe?

He seemed to enjoy this though. He put one arm securely around my waist and the other of my shoulder. What, was I crying or something?

It felt like he was giving me an encouragement hug or something.

"I'm sooo tired..." I mumbled into his shirt. I had my arms are him also. So it wasn't like he was hugging me, and I was just standing there with my arms down rudely.

It felt good though, like he was my big pillow.

And then... "Mr. Westwic and Miss. McLaughlin. You both get detention today after school for showing affection on school property!"

* * *

Bowling is fun. Bowling is awesome. Bowling is a sport that I can actually do without getting laughed at.

But my last name does have Laugh in it. So I guess its in the cards. Well, sort of. But hey, I'm in second place, that's good right?

Marleen is the winner. And has been for the past 2 games. Jordan decided to tag along too. I guess his parents were driving him crazy and he didn't want to be stuck in his room on the computer all night. So he decided to be the man bowler, along with 5 other girls.

He didn't care. He was like the goof of the night. The people that worked at the shoe stands looked at him funny. Like he was gay or something. Well he isn't. But I am still waiting up on that whole "jammies" thing.

Even though they looked at him funny, when we were walking away the guy workers looked kind of jealous. I mean, a bunch of attractive girls and one guy? What guy would give up that offer? Even if one is your sister, and the other the girl you played with when you were 4 and the girl was 2 and is practically like a half-sister. Run on sentence or what?

This is our third game, and we are on inning 9. You call them innings right? I'm never sure. Marleen just went, and she is walking back all nonchalantly like it was a piece of cake to get a strike.

Little-petite-bowling-champ-bitch. No, I'm just kidding. I love Marleen, for the week that I've known her, anyways. She just transferred to our school from a private catholic school. Get this. It. Was. All. Girls. I think it was called Bay View or something. It's in Providence I think.

I mean, most girls who went to an all girl school are boy obsessed. Well, when the get out they are anyways. But Marleen is completely down to earth about guys.

I knew these girls Chelsea and her sister, Courtney. God, were they snobs or what. They went to an all girl school which was supposed to be so good for its small classes and known for welcoming new students. Well, they didn't welcome Emily. Let me tell you that. Her parents wanted her to see what it was like at a private school. The only one that was close to our homes was this all girl one, it was kindergarten to eighth grade. You all know that seventh grade is like the worst grade for girls? Well, they were all jealous that Ashlynn had a 14 year old boyfriend, and that they were all 12 and that she was 13 and everything.

So, they made up this rumor that she wasn't a virgin anymore. It was awful, two weeks into school she transferred back.

"HELLO!" Jordan screamed in my ear. Jesus. I think I'm going to be deaf in my left ear. First at lunch now here?

"Geez, Jordan." I complained covering my ear pretending like it hurt.

"Oh...Wait...was I loud? I'm sorry." He put his had over his heart and put the other on my shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"You already said that."

"I was making sure I said it _softly_." He said the word _softly_ very quietly. Like mice quiet. I had to strain myself to hear it. I think he already made me deaf.

Thanks a lot Jord. But instead of saying that I just laughed. It's McLAUGHlin right?

"Your turn, Ashtray." Jamie insisted. She started calling me that ever since I told her what I told Seth about my name. She tried to act all serious whenever she said it but it never worked.

I got up off those uncomfortable plastic chairs and made my way to the lane we were using. Since it was Friday night they had pop music blasting and the lights all dimmed. They shined bright blue and pink and green and stuff. It actually looked really cool.

I scored a spare, with 8 then 2. Were not the kind of group that's all Who-hoo! We're more like, Gosh, you're awful!

"Hey, what's Will doing tonight?" Emily asks me. She's still going strong with the whole Seth is Will's evil twin thing.

"Um...working."

"Doing another show, I suppose." She looked thoughtful, "You know, we should be able to get free tickets, I mean you are his girlfriend for crying out loud!"

"Yeah..."

"I can't believe you two got in trouble." She pointed and made a hah-hah-you-lose face.

"I know...but I was _really _tired so I got to sleep during."

"I think that's the first time this year that someone's actually got detention." Lauren states playing with her bowling shoes.

That another thing about our school. Even though its only like the fourth week of school, the detention room only gets used like 4 times a year. All the teenagers in our school are too much of goody-two-shoes to actually get in trouble. Its usually the freshmen because they don't really know what's wrong and what's right or the juniors and seniors that try to play around the rules.

The school is known for that. They brag about it. "We're the school that never gets detention!" Maybe its because the student body is too stupid to actually think of something to do that will get them detention. Did you ever think of that school board?

"That won't be true in a couple of weeks." Jordan says smirking at us. I come back and sit back next to him.

I've been leaning against Jordan a lot lately. Earlier I got a text from Josh telling that he's catching a plane to come back home tomorrow. He'll be home around 10 PM.

My brother and I were never close. We never fought like regular brother a sister, and we never talked a lot. So our relationship is weird. Its been even weirder since Ian's death.

Jordan's been there for me. He's like the brother Josh never was.

"Wait...Jordan...Please don't tell me you know something that one of your stupid friends is doing...." Emily pleaded.

The workers were now vacuuming the rugs and moping the floors. It was 9:15. They close at ten. Why so early?

"I'm not gonna say." Jordan said smirking at her again.

"Hey, after we are done here we should go see Will at _Starbuckiesss_." Emily told me trying to forget what Jordan was saying. Her brothers mischievousness didn't bother her. She was used to him being immature and getting in trouble since she was 5. "I hear that him and his crew hang out there at night a lot."

"Um...yeah. I guess we could go—" I started unsure.

"Yeah. We're going." Marleen demanded. They started debating whether or not they should get hot chocolate or some special Starbucks is running.

We returned our shoes to the jealous employees. It was dark out (obviously.) I love the night chill. Especially because it was raining earlier. You could still smell that scent after it rains. Mmmm....

You could see the steam coming off the tar on the roads. When cars drove by the steam swooshed around like waves. Why didn't I bring my camera?

As we were walking towards the car and was noticing the cool effects of a rain storm, my cell phone buzzed in the back pocket of my jeans.

When I pulled it out the screen read, "New Message. From Josh" I must've had a frustrated expression because Jordan kinds of slows down his walking speed to catch up to me.

"Who is it? Is it the ass I'm gonna kick tomorrow?" Jordan says, putting his tongue to his cheek like he always does in these kind of situations.

I laughed because he referred to Josh as an ass.

"Yep," I tell him looking down at my phone again. I want to open it, but I don't.

Emily, Lauren, Jamie, and Marleen were all getting into Jamie's car. Right next to her mom's Subaru was Jordan's car. His little 2006 Ford Maxima.

Jordan didn't quite realize at first that he wanted to come with us. When Emily and I were leaving her house, we passed his room where he was sitting in front of the computer with a bunch of folders open. He was leaning far back in his chair, his index finger to his head lifting his left eyebrow. It looked like he got Botox the way his eyebrows arched.

Emily asked if he was sure he didn't want to come and he was all, "Nope, I'm gonna finally organize all the music folders and libraries on my computer. The things I'm always saying I will do but never actually _do_."

"Well..." Jordan stops and puts his hands in his pockets, "Are you gonna read it?"

I look up at him, he still has his tongue to the inside of his cheek. "Um, I don't know. I mean I don't want to get all angry with him and then go see Seth all upset. You know?"

"Emily, Jamie, and Marleen will be all over him anyways. Just op—" Jamie was rolling down the driver's window, and you could hear the music pouring out from the car.

Miley Cyrus's awful voice came flooding around me. I almost gagged.

"You goin' with him, Ashly—tray." Jamie screamed over the lyrics, "Party in the U.S.A!"

I looked over at Jordan, he seemed nonchalant about it. Anything to get me away from _that _voice. "Uh, yeah, I guess."

"Alright, see ya in a few!" Jamie squealed and pulled out of her parking spot.

I looked back over at Jordan. He was rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. He was looking at me with his eyebrows arched, peering over me. God, he's tall.

"Okay, so one question," He held out his index finger, "When did _she _get her license?!" He exclaimed.

"Um..."

"I don't feel right with Emily in that car, Jamie practically hit us!" He waved his arms around.

All of a sudden I got kind of jealous of Emily. That she had a brother who actually worried about her.

"But hey," Jordan reached out his arm towards mine that was holding my cell phone, "Atleast _you're_ safe, right?"

The jealousy has left the building.

Once we got into his car he turned down the radio so we could actually hear ourselves think. I was glad to hear that there weren't any Miley Cyrus songs playing.

"Anywho just read the text. See if there's any shit in it and tomorrow I'll be waiting at the airport for him." He smirked at me when he had to stop outside of the parking lot where it merges onto the road.

I looked at the phone I haven't touched since it viabrated in my pocket. I must've looked uncertain because Jordan encouraged me more.

"Just do it. It's not the end of the world. You're not the only one who thinks he's a dick."

"Oh, what a nice way to put it!" I tell him sarcastically as he flies through a yellow light.

"Do it!" He points to the phone intently.

I slid open the phone and clicked a button so I could read this fabulous text from Josh.

'Hey im bringin home a surprise tmoro. Hope ya like.'

"Oh God. I hope it's not a another one of his quote-un-quote girls." I groaned after I read Jordan the message. I sank into the seat as he pulled into the Starbuck's parking lot. I noticed that Jamie's mom's car was already there.

Jordan mimicked my moaning as he turned the car off. "_Ughhh_. I hope it's not a slut like he always brings home." He pushed his head against the back of the seat. He turned and looked at me, laughing, sarcasm written all over his face. I threw my cell phone at him.

"Come on, lets go inside. Get some caffeine in you!" He tugged on my arm. I groaned and pulled my feet up on the seat.

"I don't wanna go. I wanna go to bed and wake up on Sunday. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow's never gonna happen."

"Wow, well, the cast from the play _Annie _will be debating that comment for years to come now." He laughed and pulled the keys out of the ignition. "Just reply to him, and then we'll go inside."

"Ugh, fine." I sighed, "What should I say?"

He hummed. "Uh, how 'bout 'hey dibshit. can't wait to see your new whore!' Sound good?" He smiled at me as he handed my cell phone to me.

"Seriously?" I took the cell from him and I unbuckled my seat belt.

"No, just write, 'Can't wait, see ya tomorrow.' And then you'll see him tomorrow with his whore." He was rummaging through this shelve on his dashboard. He must've been looking for money.

As we were getting out of the car and walking towards the doors, I hit 'send' and closed my phone hoping not to hear from him soon.

Jordan opened the door for me and then I pushed the second door open. Starbucks was very slow at night. Laila was cleaning the counter with a wet rag and Seth was no where to be found.

"Great, more customers." I hear Laila mutter as she glanced up at us. She threw the rag somewhere on the ground behind the counter and started putting those little glove things that doctors wear.

"Oh, hey. What toke you guys so long?" Emily appeared by my side holding a mocolatta. She seemed so wired that she was jumping out of her skin.

Jordan exploded, "What the hell, Emily! Mom would kill you if she saw how Jamie was driving!"

Emily looked taken away. "Whoa," She motioned towards him, "Calm down. She has her license, God."

"She must've had the person testing her high or something then." Jordan protested.

"Hey! I'm right here you know!" Jamie exclaimed from the couch looking upset.

"Whatever." He waved them off and started walking towards the counter. "Your usual, Ash?" Jordan asked me turning around from Laila.

"Uh, yeah." My cell phone buzzed again.

I looked at it as I walked where Jordan was placing our orders in to Laila.

"Hey, Ashlynn" She said recognizing me from the few times I've been here. I waved to her as I opened another reply from Josh.

'Hey can u ask mom if she can go out and buy me some medicine tmoro?' Oh god. Mom is not going to buy _you_ drugs, Josh. Don't get your hopes up.

"The ass?" Jordan asks me holding our coffees. I take mine and hand him a five dollar bill to cover my coffee.

"Uh, yeah." I replied to distracted by my thumbs typing away. 'Cant u buy it urself? Lazy.' I could've blown up at him how mom does everything for us and is almost 53 and everything and should be resting because she's so _old_. But, I didn't.

Because that's the kind of sister I am.

"What did he want now? Did he reply to your message?" Jordan starts getting annoying again. Like a real brother. You love 'em one moment for being so protective, then reality strikes and you see how immature they are, and ya hate 'em.

"Uh, yeah." I say checking through my missed calls. I don't like taking calls on my cell phone. My mom says, you can use the house phone for calls to your friends, 'I only got you this stupid phone so _you _could text and _you _could pay for the unlimited texting.'

"Jesus, stop it with the boring 'uh, yeahs' It's getting sickening." He complained sitting at a high rise table next to the couch Emily, Jamie, Lauren, & Marleen were sitting.

"Uh," I looked over and him and he muttered, "There you go again!" and said, "Sorry?"

"Well, sorry doesn't cut it missy!" He said in a strict but playful voice.

I laughed and drank my coffee wondering why there wasn't any music playing. Starbucks always has Laila's iPod on full blast.

So instead of sitting there and wondering, I asked. "Laila, why don't I hear any music? Am I deaf or something?"

"Well, if you must know miss Ashlynn-I'm-such-a-music-freak, my iPod died and Seth forgot his in my car the other night so he's walking to get it right now." Lila finished cleaning other tables and bar stools.

"Where did you park? I mean we've been in here for over 7 minutes." Emily butted in. Wow, approximate time?

"Uh," She looked up at the ceiling and stopped cleaning the tables. She _really _had to think about _this_? "In the Best Buy parking lot."

"Why the hell do you park there? That's like a mile away." Emily protested.

Lila held the dirt rag in two hands now, "Because my boyfriend works there on the weekends sometimes." She sighed and rolled the rag around in her hands. Ew. "I like the walk too."

"Oh, yeah. That makes sense." Jordan muttered under his breathe. Only I could hear him. I smacked him with my phone.

"Hey, you better watch it. Because one day you're going to do that to me when this arm is made of steel," He motioned towards his arm like he's been working out or something. "And that cell phone is going to snap in half!" He snapped his fingers as he said this.

"Uh, yeah" I told him looking down at my coffee, playing with the starbucks wrapper. "Keep living that dream."

Before Jordan could make any remark back to me, Emily screamed, "Oh My God, It's Will!" and Seth came running through the door not noticing there was people here until he heard Emily scream and saw Jordan and I looking at him.

"Oh, hi guys!" He said cheerfully as he held his giant iPod out.


End file.
